Categories
Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine

Lessons We Have Learned From Our Beagle

This is a Dickinson family post. I started writing this but was so happy to have all of us contribute to this together! 

Meet Malley.  She is a wonderful and loving beagle. She is by her desire and design a “lap-beagle.” My daughters have described her as being like “a stuffed animal that breathes!” She was named after our favorite chocolate and ice-cream store in Cleveland. She is, as you can see, somewhat chocolate colored. She is clearly a key member of our family. More than that she has taught us a lot of important lessons about life.

Here is the growing list of lessons.  We hope you enjoy it. Feel free to add your own suggestions back via the comments or reply tabs.

Life Lessons From Malley:

  • Whenever you can, just go sit beside the people you love.
  • Get really excited when people come home. It makes both of you feel so good.
  • Treats are really good. If you like something there is no shame in being very happy about it and letting it show. In fact, it makes the person who is giving you the treats feel happy just to see you get so happy.
  • It is really fun to go for a walk. Always say, “yes” to an offer for a walk.
  • Sometimes you just need to play. Don’t be afraid to pounce onto people in a playful manner to get them to stop being so serious and so that they will play with you.
  • If someone you love is sitting down it is always a good idea to go love on them.
  • It feels good to have someone scratch behind your ears. Insist that they do it. Or in human terms, insist on physical touch with your loved ones frequently and regularly. Hugs should be a vital part of your day. (Hugs are a big part of what it means to be a Dickinson.)
  • If you have free time take a nap.
  • If you see sunshine go lay down in it. It feels really wonderful.
  • Get excited about your dinner. That too makes people feel happy who are serving it to you.
  • Wag your tail if you are happy. Let your emotions show. Don’t hide them.
  • Growl if people are acting scary. They need to know that they are scaring you.
  • It is fun to climb on the sofa and put your head over the side and just look outside (in the classic Snoopy vulture position).
  • Take the time to just look outside. Don’t be afraid to just rest your head on the window sill and stair out at the beautiful outside.
  • Protect those you love. If you think they are threatened bark loudly to scare the bad people away from them.
  • Demand your loved one’s undivided attention. Push their computer or phone off their laps or out of their hands. They really shoud be paying attention to you instead.
  • If a friend comes over take them outside and play.
  • Don’t accept being ignored by your family. Even if you have to push your nose up against them, they are your family and they are supposed to be paying attention to you.
  • Chipmunks are infuriating. Don’t let yourself be tortured by what you can’t control. (Malley is still struggling to learn this one but I put it in because I wish she would learn it and have some more peace in her life!)
  • Sometimes it’s ok to be so distracted happily smelling the ground in front of you that you forget to bark at the deer in the distance. It’s ok to let the little beautiful things and joys around you distract you from the big adventures that are still far way.
  • A day on a sailboat with love ones is always a day well spent (even if dinner is delayed)!

The biggest lesson is to love your family with all of your being. Hug them. Wiggle in glee when you see them. Do not let them away from you. LOVE THEM!

We hope that you enjoyed this post. Would you think about your own furry friend(s)? If you have more to add to this list please leave a comment or reply. The comment box is below some more Malley pictures. Thanks!

Malley the Sailor Dog!
JJ thought she was going to work on her paper that was due. Malley thought otherwise!
Three of our favorite humans at one of our favorite places! This is Malley’s chocolate and ice cream store in WestLake Ohio.
Why good morning Malley!
Categories
Being human Medicine Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine

Never Forget the Value of Play

Never forget the value of play.

I wrote that one day when I was walking around the hospital. It was so profound to me at the moment that I stopped in the hallway and wrote it down as a note. Later I would open it up and just look at it because it meant a lot to me.

David was on staff with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IVCF).  The year was 1985. I was the president of the local IVCF chapter and David’s job was to be my mentor. For those of you who don’t know, IVCF was started by students and is student run. If there is someone who comes on staff their job is not to lead. Instead they are to mentor and support and develop the leadership skills of the students.  I was going to have a mentor.

I was excited to have someone like him. What would a mentor do? 

Would he peer deeply into my soul and challenge me? Would he shake me up and point out my weaknesses? Would he give me challenging assignments? When we met, I was ready to go! I had my notebook open and my pen ready. 

What he did was indeed profound. 

He got up from our table in the student café and walked me over to play video games.

We played “Centipede”. I was ok at it. Not great. But it was good. It was really good.

David was wise. He was wise enough to diagnose my need. I was too intense. I was so focused and driven that I didn’t need a psychoanalysis or deep reconstruction of my personality. I didn’t need more stress or drive to do things. I needed to “chill out”. I neededto play Centipede. 

I see it even now in the medical students or pre-med college students who come to shadow me. They have this intense driven personality. I laugh because I see a younger me in them. They hang on every word looking for opportunities to excel. 

But what they often need to learn is to be human. How to be present. How to just be.

It is a lesson I have had to learn over and over again through life. I am so thankful for the wise and profound people that have been put in my life to teach me the lessons. 

My college roommate John taught me. We played hours of ping pong. He also taught me by example when he and his future (pre-med) wife almost broke up.  She wanted “quality time.” John was happy just being with her. Or just being. He didn’t need intense wonderful discussions. He was happy to just sit beside her or walk beside her. Sometimes not even saying anything.

I did break up with my wife Sarah (while we were dating) over this. I would drive her crazy in my drive to score a 100%/A+ on our relationship. She did me a kindness by breaking up with me. I was driving her crazy.  I was literally making her ill by my approach to our friendship. And I wasn’t learning the lesson. 

We only started dating again when I learned it was ok to just be human. When I wrote letters, I didn’t have to figure out all of the human condition, each of our personalities and our lifelong destinies. 

I could just tell her about what I had for lunch. Or what I did the night before. Oddly, she liked me more when I underperformed on these letters. She didn’t grade them and send them back to me marked up in red ink. I didn’t think they were very good performances. I was just being a normal person. She liked me more when I did that.

However, I messed it all up again. We got back together and started dating again. And I figured I had better “up my game.” I started all the intense analysis again. Oops. She didn’t like that. I could tell. I went for a 3-mile run. By the end I figured out that I had better call her and apologize. She later told me that she had decided she was absolutely finished with me until I made that call. It saved our relationship and the rest is the marriage that I cherish now.

What is the lesson?

It is ok to just be human.

It is ok to just be.

It is ok. 

Sometimes the best mentoring that you can do is to make someone go play a video game. Or play ping pong. Or go for a walk but not talk. Or just sit beside them.

Thank you, David! And John. And of course, Sarah. Every time I see a Centipede game, I think about you – David – and the profound lesson you taught me. The value of play.

It is ok to just be human.

It is ok to just be.

It is ok.