Being human Archives - Man, Medicine, and Mike

Flora doesn’t like to stop when she is playing.

This can be inconvenient. As adults, we have schedules to keep and things to do. There comes a time when we need to be finished and, on our way. And yet 4 year old Flora does not want whatever she is doing to stop.

Her mother knows her well and understands this. She works to be patient with Flora as she processes things. She works with her so that eventually she moves away from what she was doing and on to what is next. This is possible many of the times but not all. Often she has to be coaxed to move on.

Sometimes we stop at their house and find them in the car sitting in the driveway. For you see, Flora is happy in the car seat, playing, and she does not want it to stop. Other times she is at our place and her toys are around her. She doesn’t want to stop playing. The joy of the experience is so wonderful that she does not want to give up that sensation. She wants it to go on and on. Eventually, with some coaxing, she can move on to whatever is next.

We forget as adults.

We forget what it means to experience things for the very 1^st time. We begin (at least partially) to forget the joy of experiencing things with real pleasure. With repetition and with years we become accustomed to it all. We become respectable. We would feel silly to give ourselves in to fully enjoying something so much that we would refuse to stop when it is time to do so. We become responsible. We do what we ought to do in its proper time which I suppose is necessary.

But perhaps we should not always give in or not give in so readily.

Recently I listened to an audiobook version of Perelandra by C.S. Lewis.[1] In that book, the Green Lady (who is a new, innocent and so far sinless Eve) is being persistently and repeatedly tempted by the Unman (the demon or tempter figure). I found it fascinating that one of the Unman’s strategies was to constantly try to pull her away from what she had to what she did not have. The Green Lady could not understand this. Everything she had was good. What was in front of her at the moment was good. Why did she need to long for what she did not have?

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of lights…”[2]

But I am not as wise as the Green Lady. I am so foolish that I find my eyes wandering away from the joy that is in front of me to other things. The Green Lady has the ability to simply enjoy the good things that God has given her. There is no rush. She enjoys the good that each moment has for her. There will be time for other joys when those moments come.

But I, in my foolishness, take a quick taste, and then am easily tempted away to a wide variety of other things. Often these things are worries or concerns of what might happen, but of which I can do nothing about in that moment.

Dorothy and Steve took the girls to a carnival. The pictures showed utter joy on Flora’s face. Her excitement at being so high up on the Ferris Wheel, and then the other rides brought us joy just to look at them.

It is important for me to see this all and remember.

God created this world with so much in it for us to enjoy. Seeing Flora be excited and happy makes me happy. Seeing her parents be happy with her brings me joy.

I look at the sunset, and often what is even better, the amazing pastel colors that shift and change as they paint the sky in the minutes that follow. On the boat we sometimes stop and just watch with wonder and joy. In those moments, I wonder if God who created such beauty is taking joy in how we enjoy it. Sometimes a piece of music fills me with wonder and inspiration. In those moments, is it perhaps true that God takes joy in seeing me so moved? There are times when a new task fills me with creative energy. I love to think that in those moments the creator God smiles at how we are all created in His image to ourselves be creative. When my heart is filled with love for my wife and children or when I am filled with compassion for others, I imagine a God of love again seeing His creation fulfilling His purposes.

I know this may be a theme that I have written about in various ways in the past but perhaps it is because I so often need to be reminded of it and its reality.

Flora doesn’t like to stop playing. That is inconvenient but so wonderful.

Teach me Flora.

Remind me.

[1] Perelandra. C.S. Lewis, Scribner, Chicago, 1963.

[2] James 1:17

We like to plan a sailing adventure each summer. This past summer we sailed from Holland to St Joe to Chicago to Kenosha to Milwaukee and then back home (over the course of several days). This day of the journey was the leg sailing from Kenosha to Milwaukee. As usual we checked the marine forecast. There were thunderstorms in the forecast. The morning looked like it would have some light showers. A larger storm was forecasted for the afternoon. This leg of our trip was 32 nautical miles, and so I estimated between 5-6 hours for the trip. We opted to leave in the morning with the plan to get to Milwaukee before the big storm hit.

The first part of the trip was fine. We picked up coffee and pastries from a local coffee shop before we set out. Lake Michigan was calm as we sailed from Kenosha toward Racine. We had favorable winds for the 1^st two hours and we were able to keep the motor off. We watched the weather radar and decided to motor sail (motor on plus sails out) to pick up speed. Once we passed Racine it started to rain. I went down below and put on my swimsuit. I figured then I wouldn’t mind sitting outside at the helm and in the rain. Later a chill came in the air and I went and put on a raincoat. Sarah, JJ (my daughter) and Jeannette (my sister-in-law) went below and out of the rain. Jim (my brother-in-law) put on a raincoat and stayed on watch with me at the helm.

As we sailed, in the distance, we saw a solid gray wall form in front of us. We sailed into the wall of fog and were in very short order completely surrounded. We could see the front of the boat and a just a little bit further.

There are a few things that you can do when you are sailing in fog.

A watch (lookout): Of upmost importance is having a good watch. You should have at least two people looking very closely to make sure there are no other boats in your path. Jim and I agreed that it was a good thing that it was raining. We reasoned that we were less likely to run into fisherman in small boats who likely wouldn’t be so foolish to be out on Lake Michigan in the rain.
Radar: Radar can be very helpful. Unfortunately, I don’t have radar on my boat.
GPS: My GPS based chart plotter is an amazing help. It did a great job showing us where we were and allowing us to continue to safely navigate.
AIS (Automatic Identification System): I have installed an AIS receiver. Commercial vessels are required to transmit a VHF signal that includes their location, speed, direction, and identification for the vessel. This data shows up on my chart plotter. Not everyone has AIS but at least we wouldn’t miss spotting a freighter or other large vessel in our path. We did see the AIS signal from the Lake Michigan Express making its way in and out of Milwaukee.
Foghorn: Standard conventions say that you should broadcast a long blow every 2 minutes to warn other vessels of your presence. If you are under sail you blow one long and then 2 short. We were motoring and so we would blow the boats horn every 2 minutes.

Suddenly, I felt very nautical as we sailed along, sitting in the rain holding the helm and blowing the horn every 2 minutes. As I did so I thought about my grandfather.

My grandfather was a fisherman in the upper peninsula of Michigan. Years ago, he told us a story of getting caught in a big storm on Lake Michigan that I described in a previous blog post^[1]. When he finished telling us about the big storm, it was my grandmother’s turn to tell a story. She told us about the night of the fog.

She was at home with the kids. My grandfather had gone out fishing like he had done many times before. As the day turned to evening, he didn’t come home as he normally did. She waited. And then she waited some more and she started to get worried. Eventually she drove down to his boat landing. From the landing all she could see was an amazingly dense fog out on Lake Michigan. She didn’t know what to do. She sat in the car directly above the landing with her headlights on. She waited and she worried.

My grandfather picked up the story from here. He said the fog came in quickly just as he was heading back in. It was long before satellites or GPS technology. He had no way in the fog to find his way. The UP shoreline is rocky. The only way that he could get to his dock was to find the passageway that he had cleared through the rocks. He motored up and down the shoreline looking through the dense fog. The fog was so thick he couldn’t see any of the shoreline. There was no way for him to see any of the familiar landmarks that he used to guide his way in. He had no idea what he would do. Night came on as he motored back and forth hoping for an answer.

Suddenly he saw lights shining through the fog. He had no idea what the lights were but decided his best hope was to aim for them and hope for the best. He motored until he was directly offshore of the lights. He made a 90 degree turn and aimed directly for them. He motored on slowly toward the lights worrying that any minute he would hear the crunch of a rock crushing into his hull. Eventually he was near the shore and he could see his dock. He breathed a sigh of relief as he tied up his boat and walked up the hill to the waiting car and my very relieved and happy grandmother.

I pulled my raincoat around me to hold out the chill in the air. I reached down and pressed the horn button to sound our 2-minute fog warning. This story played in my mind as I followed the GPS track on my chart plotter. I could see the location of the shoreline, the water depth, the location of the McKinley marina in Milwaukee and the location of the Lake Michigan Express as it buzzed into Milwaukee. I imagined how terrifying it would be if I had no way to know where the coastline or the marina was. I looked down at my compass thinking how it would be very hard if that were my only guide. I zoomed in the screen on the chart plotter so that I could identify the rocky shoreline and the discreet channel that we needed.

We were getting close to the marina. The chart plotter showed the channel markers. There should be channel markers. Where were they? I felt anxious having to trust the GPS. Jim and I strained our eyes looking for the channel. Suddenly beside us less than a boat length away the channel marker appeared out of the fog. I jumped a little bit when I saw it. It was much bigger and closer than what I expected. As we passed it the fog cleared and the McKinley Marina appeared in front of us. I breathed a sigh of relief as we tied up the boat to the fuel dock and I climbed up the hill to check in.

On this blog I normally tell an analogy or a lesson from the story. In this case it is different. The point I am making is that everyone has stories. The stories can be rich and wonderful.

I have thought often of my grandparents and the fog. I can picture my grandmother sitting in a 1930s/40s car watching with worry and hope. I can imagine my grandfather with a pit in his stomach motoring back and forth trying to figure out what to do. They lived interesting lives. Knowing who they were and what made up their lives is important to me. I’m grateful that they shared their stories with me.

Everyone has stories.

Learning them brings rich flavor to life.

Take the time to hear them. Ask. Listen.

You will be richly rewarded when you do.

^[1] https://manmedicineandmike.com/the-storm-an-amazing-story-from-my-grandfather-learning-to-live-through-and-face-the-storms-in-life/

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