Category: Reflections on the Christian Life

Reflections from the scriptures or on what it means to me to be a Christian. My hope is to show that the Christian life is one which can and should be lived with personal honesty, intellectual rigor, and respect for others.

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Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

Flora Doesn’t Like to Stop Playing. Could I be so wise as to enjoy the good that is in front of me in this moment?

Flora doesn’t like to stop when she is playing.

This can be inconvenient. As adults, we have schedules to keep and things to do. There comes a time when we need to be finished and, on our way.  And yet 4 year old Flora does not want whatever she is doing to stop.

Her mother knows her well and understands this. She works to be patient with Flora as she processes things. She works with her so that eventually she moves away from what she was doing and on to what is next. This is possible many of the times but not all. Often she has to be coaxed to move on.

Sometimes we stop at their house and find them in the car sitting in the driveway. For you see, Flora is happy in the car seat, playing, and she does not want it to stop. Other times she is at our place  and her toys are around her. She doesn’t want to stop playing. The joy of the experience is so wonderful that she does not want to give up that sensation. She wants it to go on and on.  Eventually, with some coaxing, she can move on to whatever is next.

We forget as adults.

We forget what it means to experience things for the very 1st time. We begin (at least partially) to forget the joy of experiencing things with real pleasure. With repetition and with years we become accustomed to it all. We become respectable. We would feel silly to give ourselves in to fully enjoying something so much that we would refuse to stop when it is time to do so.  We become responsible. We do what we ought to do in its proper time which I suppose is necessary.

But perhaps we should not always give in or not give in so readily.

Recently I listened to an audiobook version of Perelandra by C.S. Lewis.[1] In that book, the Green Lady (who is a new, innocent and so far sinless Eve) is being persistently and repeatedly tempted by the Unman (the demon or tempter figure). I found it fascinating that one of the Unman’s strategies was to constantly try to pull her away from what she had to what she did not have. The Green Lady could not understand this. Everything she had was good. What was in front of her at the moment was good. Why did she need to long for what she did not have?

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of lights…”[2]

But I am not as wise as the Green Lady. I am so foolish that I find my eyes wandering away from the joy that is in front of me to other things. The Green Lady has the ability to simply enjoy the good things that God has given her. There is no rush. She enjoys the good that each moment has for her. There will be time for other joys when those moments come. 

But I, in my foolishness, take a quick taste, and then am easily tempted away to a wide variety of other things. Often these things are worries or concerns of what might happen, but of which I can do nothing about in that moment.

Dorothy and Steve took the girls to a carnival. The pictures showed utter joy on Flora’s face. Her excitement at being so high up on the Ferris Wheel, and then the other rides brought us joy just to look at them.

It is important for me to see this all and remember.

God created this world with so much in it for us to enjoy. Seeing Flora be excited and happy makes me happy. Seeing her parents be happy with her brings me joy.

I look at the sunset, and often what is even better, the amazing pastel colors that shift and change as they paint the sky in the minutes that follow. On the boat we sometimes stop and just watch with wonder and joy. In those moments, I wonder if God who created such beauty is taking joy in how we enjoy it. Sometimes a piece of music fills me with wonder and inspiration. In those moments, is it perhaps true that God takes joy in seeing me so moved? There are times when a new task fills me with creative energy.  I love to think that in those moments the creator God smiles at how we are all created in His image to ourselves be creative.  When my heart is filled with love for my wife and children or when I am filled with compassion for others, I imagine a God of love again seeing His creation fulfilling His purposes.

I know this may be a theme that I have written about in various ways in the past but perhaps it is because I so often need to be reminded of it and its reality.

Flora doesn’t like to stop playing. That is inconvenient but so wonderful.

Teach me Flora.

Remind me. 

[1] Perelandra. C.S. Lewis, Scribner, Chicago, 1963.

[2] James 1:17

Categories
Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

The Optimism of Youth, The Weight of Experience and The Absolute Importance of Choosing to Live in the Middle

Sometimes when I am working, I like to listen to music. I listen to a wide variety of different types of music. On a whim recently, I put on a 1991 Loreena McKennitt album that Sarah and I liked early in our marriage.

I was surprised how the music suddenly transported me and changed how I felt inside in that moment. The music continued playing into my Air Pods and as it did, I started feeling younger and to my surprise, optimistic. The feeling was nice. I didn’t want it to stop, so when the album ended, I played it over again, and then as I was driving home after work, once again.

As the music played, I began to wonder. Life can feel heavy.  Why does it feel so heavy sometimes? We all have our Facebook photos where everything looks perfectly wonderful and happy, but in between the moments captured in the photos, there can be a heaviness, or perhaps better described as a seriousness, to life.  This seems to have become more commonplace the older I have grown.

The music however pulled me in the other direction. As it did, I was reminded of a commonly used expression, “the optimism of youth.” 

I remember years ago when Sarah and I volunteered to do some teaching at our church. We took on hard and complicated subjects. An older, more experienced man in our church would laugh and remark how he was impressed that we were not afraid to take on big or hard things. But we were young, and in “the optimism of youth” we believed we could handle it and so did not fear taking on big projects. 

In youth, there is a tendency to believe we can take on the world, conquer it, and remake it all better. 

In the Navy I came into a job and noticed chaos in several practices in the medical department. I was young and I knew I could clean them all up and make them better. A few months later I had structured pathways and plans and even a 3-ring binder of an organizational plan in place. When I left the command to take on another job the binder was filed on a back shelf. It seems that despite all my hard work, I had not permanently fixed everything. [1]

There is a person popular on social media who picks random houses with overgrown yards and fixes them up. The transformation is marvelous and the time accelerated work that he captures on video is mesmerizing to watch.[2] But then, it is inevitable that without continued care, the weeds are going to grow back. Chaos is going to come again.

The contrast has become evident to me. “The optimism of youth” says that we can and should do marvelous things.  “The weight of experience” says that such efforts are in vain. Entropy is going to win. The work that is done is going to be lost. 

I got in the car to drive home as I continued to think about all these things.  As I drove, I realized that I tend to be a defensive driver, anticipating catastrophe at every turn. I remember the person who ran into the side of my car 25+ years ago and vow to not have that happen today. What could go wrong? What catastrophe is coming at me down the road? As I drive, it occurs to me that in my mind I am speculating and getting pulled down by a variety of potential worries and anxieties about current and future happenings in my life. 

Life can feel heavy.

I turned the music on again. Once again, the lightness and optimism returned. I like that person better.  What is so different? I searched inside of me to figure out what it was I was feeling. It was like an elixir that tasted so wonderful that I wanted to take sip after sip as I tried to place the taste. Perhaps, I thought, if I can figure it out, I can then somehow retain it.

There is a wisdom that we gain with life that is very valuable. Knowing what I know now, how would I live my life over if given the chance? 

There is nothing wrong with driving with an awareness of the risks and potential hazards to be a safer driver. There is nothing wrong with understanding that despite whatever wonderful work you do, time will tend to undo what you have done.  It is wise to be aware and cautious of the potential risks and problems in the world. But as I think about all of this, I can begin to feel heavy and old. “Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear…” my children used to laugh at their grandfather who would say that if something was going wrong and sometimes even if there was nothing going wrong. I am beginning to understand why he would react that way.

But there is power and wonder in the optimism of youth. 

The Lord God is on His throne and His purposes are being worked out. The wonderful things that He is working in this world and in my life may be complicated and beyond my understanding. These things might be realized over a much longer period of time than I may understand, but God is in control. At the same time, I must acknowledge that He has given me good gifts to enjoy. Life is not easy, and there are hard things to go through. But in the midst of everything, there are good and happy things to enjoy. He is the creator God who made a world of beauty and wonder with a desire that we could and would enjoy it. 

“Even when I am sad, I am still a little happy,” my daughter said to her grandmother when she was young. Within the midst of wisdom can there still be optimism? Can we somehow live in the middle? Can we choose to be a little happy even when we are sad? 

I think it is not only possible but essential. 

I realize that I must choose to embrace and retain the optimism of youth. I am going to choose to play and laugh and find joy and humor in things whenever I can. I know the seriousness of things and all that there is that I could worry about. I am hoping to actively choose to not let that overwhelm me or define me. I am going to take a sip of the elixir that says these things:

  • God is in control. You do not have to worry about everything. If you are a person of faith, you need to relax and trust Him.
  • There is joy in this world. Drink richly of it and enjoy it.
  • If you see something that is good to do, even if it looks like a big thing, go ahead. Go for it! There is joy and wonderful purpose and meaning and optimism in taking it all on.
  • Stop being so serious! Laugh. Play. Enjoy.

My granddaughter runs up and wants to play with the blocks on the floor. She is getting tired and becomes very busy to keep herself going. I too am tired after work. If we pull all the blocks out, we will have to pick them all up again in a few minutes when it is time for her to go home. It is getting late. We have to figure out dinner. There are other things that I should do.  “Oh dear. Oh dear!” I think and then I chuckle to myself inside.  “Of course! Let’s play with the blocks!” 

[1] https://manmedicineandmike.com/the-time-i-saved-the-world/

[2] https://www.youtube.com/c/SBMowing