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Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

Compartmentalization: How Putting Thoughts Aside Can Be Both Constructive and Destructive In Your Life

Compartmentalization. That is a big word. It is an important concept we were taught in flight training.  The idea is that you can block thoughts from your mind so that you can focus on what is important in the moment.

Let me share an example. We were doing our preflight for a helicopter flight from Norfolk to Camp Lejuene. The pilot I was flying with mentioned that he had a headache. We finished the preflight and had a nice flight. We landed, taxied to our space and shut down the helicopter. Once we were shut down I asked him then how his headache was. He seemed confused for a minute and then remembered. “Oh. My headache! Ow!” He pulled a packet of Goody’s powder out of his flight bag and downed it. 

During the preflight he had done as he had been trained. There was no room for him to be distracted while flying. He needed to be completely alert and focused on the flight. Once the flight was completed, he had the “luxury” of being able to feel and notice his headache again. That is compartmentalization.

This can be a valuable thing for a pilot who has to focus on his mission. In life it can be either good or bad.

I know people who are terrible at compartmentalization. They don’t have just one storyline running in their head. They may have 3, 4 or even dozens of thought-lines running simultaneously. When something bothers them, it can be very hard for them to focus or rest. When they lay down at night, they can’t just decide to turn off the bothersome thoughts. The thoughts just keep going and going. Sometimes the thoughts are intrusive and are about things that cannot be fixed. In that setting I wish for them the ability to compartmentalize.

We talk about techniques to help them do this. Journaling can help. Another technique is to write things down so that they can be temporarily put away. “I can’t fix this now. I will write down reminders so that I can shift my attention and do what I need to do now.” 

A corollary to this is, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” In this version, the problem is truly about something that is not your responsibility and something that you cannot fix. In this setting, you hopefully can acknowledge those facts and then move on with life. You might not like what the monkeys or the circus are doing, but whether you worry about it or not really isn’t going to change anything. You might as well push that over to a corner of your brain called the “not my circus” area and go on with your life.

It was another day and another mission. This time I was in control and practicing landing the helicopter in a tight landing zone. For this exercise, the crew chief in the back of the helicopter would call out instructions to me. Forward, back, left, right and so on until we were carefully landed. I completed the exercise without problems but felt tense the entire time I was doing it. I just wished there was not the loud buzzing in my ear. It was then that I realized that I had forgotten to cancel the low altitude warning. This was an alarm that was warning me that I was getting close to the ground. On landing you generally cancel the alarm. I had forgotten to do so. I was so focused on my task that I had ignored all of the alarms.

Sometimes we see people doing things that are nothing like what we would expect from them. Infidelity is one of those things. How could a man or woman after years of marriage forget all of the good that went before? Can they just ignore all of their shared experiences? Can they ignore the love that they shared? How could they become willing to sacrifice what had before been so very precious to them? 

I am convinced that compartmentalization plays a large role. They are able to push the thoughts of their past aside and focus on the new person or relationship that is in front of them. They lock the past away to a place in their brain where they do not have to look at it. They also lock away the ideas of the destruction and harm that they are causing to themselves and their family. 

The alarms are blaring, “altitude, altitude, altitude” and yet they ignore the alarms. They fly their lives, their marriage, and their families into the ground.

Compartmentalization is a tool. Like any tool it can be effective or dangerous.

Electric saws scare me a little bit. Every time I see the large spinning blade I imagine fingers cut off or worse. If you are building a house or doing other types of carpentry, they are necessary and effective tools. But they are also dangerous. You have to respect the risks of the tool. You need to know what precautions to take before you begin to use it. 

I am not as afraid of a chain saw. Probably because of my time using them on the farm, I am more familiar with them. I do know however to wear solid shoes, heavy jeans, leather gloves and generally I wear eye and ear protection. I also know about the risks of kick back and ways that I am comfortable using the saw and ways that I am not.

Compartmentalization is the same way. It is a powerful and effective tool to allow you to focus and achieve things in life. It can bring you peace in times when you do not have control. The ultimate compartmentalization is in trusting God.

As a flight surgeon I learned about a lot of the bad things that can happen while flying.  If I am not careful when I am sitting on a commercial airline I can imagine bad things happening. I have absolutely no control over what happens. As we approach landing in bad weather with a strong crosswind and poor visibility I could drive myself crazy. Or I can compartmentalize. The pilots are well trained. The rate of aircraft crashes is remarkably low. Whether I panic or not won’t change our odds of a safe and successful landing.  The dozens and dozens of aircraft crash stories get put away. I don’t need them in the moment. I trust in the ones who are in charge.

What about in life? Cancer certainly is a huge uncertainty. This past year has brought endless cycles of grief to people we know and love. How can you live in a world where there is suffering and injustice? 

One of my favorite quotes is this, “We can live in a world where there is violence and injustice because we know that God is in control and that His process is being worked out.  And in this – the righteous can live by faith.”  Another one is this, “God remains quiet. But it is not a cold and uncaring silence. It is instead as if He is saying, ‘Peace, child. You cannot understand.’”  It doesn’t have to make sense. But you can park it (for a little while at least) in the area that says, “I know that God is in control and I can let Him handle this.”

As in many things it comes down to balance. Compartmentalization is a powerful tool. It can also be dangerous. You need to make sure that you use it safely. 

Compartmentalize so that you can ignore a headache to focus on flying a helicopter safely and complete your mission? Yup. Use it to help you so that you don’t obsess over things you cannot control? Sure. Trust God even if you can’t control what is happening? Absolutely. 

Compartmentalize to enable you to ignore or betray the trust of your loved ones for a momentary gain? Nope. Neglect problems in your relationships because you don’t want to deal with them? Also nope. Ignore the alarms sounding in your head about the implications of what you are about to do? Never.

We climbed back into the helicopter to head back to Norfolk. We briefed on what was important. We talked about what we had to pay attention to. A lot of other things would be safely and effectively put aside for the duration of the flight. We knew what we were doing. We used compartmentalization to not be harmed by thoughts we didn’t need to focus on during the flight. We could pick those thoughts back up once we landed and shut the helicopter down again.

Categories
Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

What Is a Life Well Lived?

Previously I wrote about time travel and figuring out what I would do if I could change how I had lived my life.[i] In the end, I came to the conclusion that the secret was to go forward living each moment as a “life well lived.” 


What is a life well lived?  Everyone will define this differently. What follows is personal. It is what I think and believe. You may or may not agree. I engaged in a brainstorming session to try to figure things out for me. What follows is the result of that.  Ok – Mike, “What is a life well lived?”

What it is:What it is not:
It is a life of meaning and purpose.

It is a life that appreciates what it has.

It is a life that experiences and enjoys each moment. It is active and intentional.

It loves.

It thinks of others and serves others.

It is in the center of God’s will.

It serves the Lord.

It is used by the Lord in ways greater than its capacity to do things on its own.

It is humble.

It is wise.

It is a life of prayerful reflection that listens and is open enough to be guided by the Lord to His purposes and by His direction.

It is following where God has you for the season of life that you are in.

It experiences and enjoys and has gratitude for the good things that God has blessed you with.

It has faith and trusts and endures the bad things of the season that you are in.

It is lived outside of oneself, looking to help others and do good.

It recognizes that this life is not the end. It recognizes that this life is but a part of something greater.
It is not a life that runs around vainly pursuing one thing after another that never lead to anything.

It is not a life of a sluggard. It is not just doing nothing.

It is not pursuing sin or the lusts of the flesh.

It is not necessarily easy.  It is not without pain or discomfort.

It is not always stressed, always pressured, always harried. While that could be needed for a season, when that is sustained that is often vanity – or a punching at the wind.

It is not blind/numb, rushing through life with no purpose or direction.

It often is not directed by one’s own self. 

It is not that we are so incredibly wise that we can on our own figure out and live the life well lived. 

It is not a life to achieve things that must be done in the time here. 

It is not pressured to achieve certain big goals.











I reject the idea of certain things that must be done in this life in order for it to be “complete.”  Completeness will never be achieved in this life.  Completeness only comes in the Lord and will only come once we are in His presence. In this life there is no finish line. There is no magic time when we will have crossed that line and say to ourselves that we have done all that we were supposed to have achieved.

I have found that death always seems to come prematurely. Even for those who are in hospice and seem to not die quickly enough, once they are gone it seems that they should not be gone. The hole that they leave behind seems odd, awkward, and out of place. It doesn’t feel right.

If we try to find completeness in this life, or in the cycle of life and death, we will be disappointed. This life is not enough. It will never be enough. If we try to pretend that it is we create something false.

In that sense – I do not want to talk about a life well lived as a summary or resume of all that has gone before. It is not the person sitting on a veranda pondering with self-satisfaction all that they have done and achieved. That never ends up being quite as satisfying as we think it is going to be.

The life well lived is instead a focus on the life we are living now. 

It is about how we are sailing along rather than focusing on the destination. It is a boat perfectly trimmed doing the best that it can amidst the circumstances. It is not about getting there. It is about how and what we do along the journey.

It is not about finally getting to the goal when all is going to be perfect. That is foolishness. We will never reach that point. Even when we get to the imagined point we often long for what has gone before. 

In this moment, I can think of lots of times in my past that I would love to relive. I imagine days when I was in the Navy. In those times I dreamed of the future but yet now (in “the future”) I would love to go and live those experiences again. I would love to feel the joy and pride of putting my uniform on. I would love to be walking around the squadron. I would love to be coming home to my lovely wife and my giggly little daughters.

So also, retirement is not a wonderful goal in which we are blissful, and nothing is wrong. It too will have its challenges as well as its joys. There will be times in retirement when we wish we could be working and active. 

I believe it is possible to have a life well lived in all circumstances. It is possible to live a life well lived while in the midst of a busy work life. It is possible to live a life well lived in retirement when there is no job to go to. It is about enjoying what is present in front of you. It is about seeking what good and what the Lord would want us to focus on in the place where He has put us.

It is possible to live a life well lived in a pandemic. 

And so, what do we do when we have a choice? Do you work or do you retire? What do you do with your time? How do you find what there is for you to do and enjoy in this moment or this phase of your life?

That is of course the age-old issue of how to discern the will of God for our lives. That can be very challenging. Having gone through that process so many times before, I have learned that the answers are seldom ever obvious or black and white. The process of how to do this is however quite clear:

  • Often the “what to do” is less important than the “how you do it.” God wants us to seek Him and be faithful. When we come to the fork in the road, often He can and will go with us and use us on either path. The path that we choose may be less important than how we conduct ourselves as we go down the path that we choose. 
  • We seek advice – in prayer, from the Scriptures and from wise council. 
  • Talk it out. I do this in writing. I wrote this blog and a previous one because my wife told me I should do so. It helps a lot. Others benefit from doing this verbally. They should find “a safe space” to talk. This means someone who will listen rather than advise. This may take time. If you start to talk and you are sent back pat answers or are not allowed to process, you may have chosen the wrong person or the wrong time to talk.
  • Sometimes we have to just walk forward and ask God in His grace to guide us. If it is not clear which path to take, we just take one and trust Him to guide us to what He thinks best.

Are my current ongoing symptoms a direction from the Lord? Should I be making some changes? Is this an opportunity to live a better life? Should I be working a reduced schedule?

I think there are a couple of things that are clear:

  • The decision is less important than how I live each and every day. What is very clear to me is that I need to live to appreciate and enjoy what is in the day in front of me. I often forget this and regret this. What are the joys and tasks that are in front of me today? 
  • It is also clear that I need to work to regain focus each and every day. I so often lose focus and live in a foolish pattern of not appreciating and not living for the Lord but instead living for myself.  For me, this means prayer and study of the scriptures.
  • I do not and cannot push as hard as I used to. I cannot live a harried life of meeting multiple demands and pressures upon me. It is a time to live a more balanced life. This is a life that works hard but also comes home and does not work all night. 
  • I need and want time to reflect and to write. This is how I think, and it makes me whole in ways that I cannot achieve when I just remain busy. Moments in the morning to reflect and write are a gift to me. They also help to get me focused again.

So – do I change my schedule?

Answer: Not yet.

Answer: Continue to seek the Lord in this.

Answer: I cannot and will not answer all the demands on me. I will achieve what I can in the day that I have and let some things go undone.

[i] https://manmedicineandmike.com/time-travel-cancer-mortality-and-a-life-well-lived/