Category: Reflections on the Christian Life

Reflections from the scriptures or on what it means to me to be a Christian. My hope is to show that the Christian life is one which can and should be lived with personal honesty, intellectual rigor, and respect for others.

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Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

The Optimism of Youth, The Weight of Experience and The Absolute Importance of Choosing to Live in the Middle

Sometimes when I am working, I like to listen to music. I listen to a wide variety of different types of music. On a whim recently, I put on a 1991 Loreena McKennitt album that Sarah and I liked early in our marriage.

I was surprised how the music suddenly transported me and changed how I felt inside in that moment. The music continued playing into my Air Pods and as it did, I started feeling younger and to my surprise, optimistic. The feeling was nice. I didn’t want it to stop, so when the album ended, I played it over again, and then as I was driving home after work, once again.

As the music played, I began to wonder. Life can feel heavy.  Why does it feel so heavy sometimes? We all have our Facebook photos where everything looks perfectly wonderful and happy, but in between the moments captured in the photos, there can be a heaviness, or perhaps better described as a seriousness, to life.  This seems to have become more commonplace the older I have grown.

The music however pulled me in the other direction. As it did, I was reminded of a commonly used expression, “the optimism of youth.” 

I remember years ago when Sarah and I volunteered to do some teaching at our church. We took on hard and complicated subjects. An older, more experienced man in our church would laugh and remark how he was impressed that we were not afraid to take on big or hard things. But we were young, and in “the optimism of youth” we believed we could handle it and so did not fear taking on big projects. 

In youth, there is a tendency to believe we can take on the world, conquer it, and remake it all better. 

In the Navy I came into a job and noticed chaos in several practices in the medical department. I was young and I knew I could clean them all up and make them better. A few months later I had structured pathways and plans and even a 3-ring binder of an organizational plan in place. When I left the command to take on another job the binder was filed on a back shelf. It seems that despite all my hard work, I had not permanently fixed everything. [1]

There is a person popular on social media who picks random houses with overgrown yards and fixes them up. The transformation is marvelous and the time accelerated work that he captures on video is mesmerizing to watch.[2] But then, it is inevitable that without continued care, the weeds are going to grow back. Chaos is going to come again.

The contrast has become evident to me. “The optimism of youth” says that we can and should do marvelous things.  “The weight of experience” says that such efforts are in vain. Entropy is going to win. The work that is done is going to be lost. 

I got in the car to drive home as I continued to think about all these things.  As I drove, I realized that I tend to be a defensive driver, anticipating catastrophe at every turn. I remember the person who ran into the side of my car 25+ years ago and vow to not have that happen today. What could go wrong? What catastrophe is coming at me down the road? As I drive, it occurs to me that in my mind I am speculating and getting pulled down by a variety of potential worries and anxieties about current and future happenings in my life. 

Life can feel heavy.

I turned the music on again. Once again, the lightness and optimism returned. I like that person better.  What is so different? I searched inside of me to figure out what it was I was feeling. It was like an elixir that tasted so wonderful that I wanted to take sip after sip as I tried to place the taste. Perhaps, I thought, if I can figure it out, I can then somehow retain it.

There is a wisdom that we gain with life that is very valuable. Knowing what I know now, how would I live my life over if given the chance? 

There is nothing wrong with driving with an awareness of the risks and potential hazards to be a safer driver. There is nothing wrong with understanding that despite whatever wonderful work you do, time will tend to undo what you have done.  It is wise to be aware and cautious of the potential risks and problems in the world. But as I think about all of this, I can begin to feel heavy and old. “Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear…” my children used to laugh at their grandfather who would say that if something was going wrong and sometimes even if there was nothing going wrong. I am beginning to understand why he would react that way.

But there is power and wonder in the optimism of youth. 

The Lord God is on His throne and His purposes are being worked out. The wonderful things that He is working in this world and in my life may be complicated and beyond my understanding. These things might be realized over a much longer period of time than I may understand, but God is in control. At the same time, I must acknowledge that He has given me good gifts to enjoy. Life is not easy, and there are hard things to go through. But in the midst of everything, there are good and happy things to enjoy. He is the creator God who made a world of beauty and wonder with a desire that we could and would enjoy it. 

“Even when I am sad, I am still a little happy,” my daughter said to her grandmother when she was young. Within the midst of wisdom can there still be optimism? Can we somehow live in the middle? Can we choose to be a little happy even when we are sad? 

I think it is not only possible but essential. 

I realize that I must choose to embrace and retain the optimism of youth. I am going to choose to play and laugh and find joy and humor in things whenever I can. I know the seriousness of things and all that there is that I could worry about. I am hoping to actively choose to not let that overwhelm me or define me. I am going to take a sip of the elixir that says these things:

  • God is in control. You do not have to worry about everything. If you are a person of faith, you need to relax and trust Him.
  • There is joy in this world. Drink richly of it and enjoy it.
  • If you see something that is good to do, even if it looks like a big thing, go ahead. Go for it! There is joy and wonderful purpose and meaning and optimism in taking it all on.
  • Stop being so serious! Laugh. Play. Enjoy.

My granddaughter runs up and wants to play with the blocks on the floor. She is getting tired and becomes very busy to keep herself going. I too am tired after work. If we pull all the blocks out, we will have to pick them all up again in a few minutes when it is time for her to go home. It is getting late. We have to figure out dinner. There are other things that I should do.  “Oh dear. Oh dear!” I think and then I chuckle to myself inside.  “Of course! Let’s play with the blocks!” 

[1] https://manmedicineandmike.com/the-time-i-saved-the-world/

[2] https://www.youtube.com/c/SBMowing

Categories
Being human Reflections on the Christian Life

Our world is thrown into turmoil. How do we process this?

One headline reads, “Burying the Old World Order.”[1] Multiple experts are reporting similar doomsday like phrases. The comment on the news was something like, “Nothing like this has happened since World War II.” Maybe it is hyperbole or not, but with the Russian invasion of Ukraine many of us are wondering what is going on.

Here is an excerpt from one article in the Atlantic, “There is no longer any point putting on the uniforms of the old world, pretending it has not just been blown apart. The old ways of dealing with Russia (and potentially China) no longer apply. The belief that autocratic regimes will democratize and liberalize as they bend into our rules-based order was naive.”[2]

Wasn’t a global pandemic enough drama for this decade?  Do we really need this?  What is going to happen? What does this mean?

The more I think about it the more I feel anxious but also angry. Why would any leader throw our world into chaos? Why would he inflict enormous harm and the inevitable deaths of thousands of innocent people? How dare he? How is he going to be held accountable for this?

“Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together against the LORD and against his Anointed, saying, ‘Let us burst their bonds apart and cast away their cords from us.’ He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord holds them in derision.”[3]

These words and these images came to mind as I climbed in my car to drive to work. 

Moments earlier I felt anger and a desire for violence against the perpetrators (especially Putin and his colleagues.) I wanted brute force to be applied against their brute force to make them pay for violating the balance of peace in Europe. I imagined the force of NATO coming to bear against him. I hoped he would feel the pain of retribution for the pain that he is inflicting on others. 

And then Psalm 2 came to mind. The image was of God on His throne. The Lord God Almighty is not surprised or intimidated by Putin or anyone. His purposes are being worked out. 

I certainly don’t understand why this is happening or the purposes behind it. Sarah and I have been asking this since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic. What is the Lord doing in this? To be honest, I just can’t see it. It has not driven revival or unification of the church. It seems if anything to have caused division within the church and derision of the church from those outside of it. So far, I haven’t been able to see the Lord working through the pandemic.

I also can’t see any good coming from war coming to Ukraine. There are over 44 million people living in Ukraine. They have all had their lives suddenly upended and put at risk. The news yesterday brought interviews and stories of common people taking up arms to defend their country. I imagine the deaths and grief that the coming days are going to bring. I imagine the escalation and potential future conflicts that could happen if Putin has designs beyond the Ukraine. This is not good. 

But the Lord is on His throne.  Conflict like this is nothing new. I think about what our parents, grandparents and great grandparents endured. History has not been smooth, nice and pretty. I cannot imagine the fears and horror and grief of WW1, WW2, Korea and Vietnam. Human history is just not very nice. 

Consider this quote from Arnold Toynbee:  “We expected that life throughout the world would become more rational, more humane, and more democratic and that, slowly, but surely, political democracy would produce greater social justice. We had also expected that the progress of science and technology would make mankind richer, and that this increasing wealth would gradually spread from a minority to a majority. We had expected that all this would happen peacefully. In fact we thought that mankind’s course was set for an earthly paradise, and that our approach towards this goal was predestined for us by historical necessity. “[4]

To be honest, this is a bit of the way I felt when the Berlin wall came down and throughout the breakup of the USSR.  Was it possible that the world was finally gaining some sense? Would democracy and improved conditions and human rights prevail? Were we as humans finally growing mature?

The interesting things is that Toynbee was not referring to the modern era. He wrote this about Europe before 1914 in the years leading up to the 1st world war. At that time also, there was a general optimism about man and civilization. Many had thought that we as a human race had finally grown up. We were getting beyond the savage and violent “might makes right” of our history. 

On Facebook video suggestions often pop up. For some reason it seems that a lot of the video suggestions are clips from movies that feature bullies getting their “come-uppance”. Maybe that says something about my heart and my desire to see justice. I think most of us hope for a world where justice prevails, and bullies can no longer have control. I want to watch this conflict like watching one of those clips, waiting for the moment when the bully is confronted to his shame.

 And yet God has been on His throne through all of this. What is happening today is no greater than many times and events in the past. God has a plan. His timeline is far different than mine. His purposes are beyond my understanding.

“The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass;

he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children.”[5]

Maybe it is not just Putin who is unrighteous. Maybe it is not just that the people who disagree with me need redemption. I too am flawed and marred and sinful. I too benefit from a God who is merciful, gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. I have come to expect God to be patient with me. I am dependent on His wisdom and His grace. 

I can’t have it both ways. I can’t trust God in His patience and grace with me and that His purposes are being worked out and then not trust Him when it comes to what is happening in the world.  

I still don’t understand it. I don’t like it. I will, and should, pray earnestly for the people of Ukraine and for peace in our world. I hope and pray for wisdom and action from our world leaders to act in this situation. Faith doesn’t mean that I must like what is going on or sit in passive inaction. But it does mean that I can function and live and not be afraid. 

“We can live in a world where seemingly there is violence and injustice because we know that God is in control and that His purposes are being worked out.”[6]

I am encouraged when I am reminded that, “The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.”[7]  Like my father, my father’s father, and his father before that, I can endure and live in a world torn by conflict. I do not have to live in fear. I can take solace in my faith in an eternal and loving and just God. 

As the psalmist reminds us, “Blessed are all who take refuge in Him.”[8]

[1] https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2022/02/us-europe-russia-putin-new-world/622917/

[2] https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2022/02/us-europe-russia-putin-new-world/622917/

[3] Psalm 2:1-4, English Standard Version

[4] Toynbee, Arnold Joseph, “Surviving the Future”, Oxford University Press, 1971

[5] Psalm 103:6-17, English Standard Version

[6] Habakkuk Multimedia Presentation, InterVarsity Press, 1980.

[7] Psalm 103:19, English Standard Version

[8] Psalm 2:12b, English Standard Version