What Is a Life Well Lived?

Previously I wrote about time travel and figuring out what I would do if I could change how I had lived my life.^[i] In the end, I came to the conclusion that the secret was to go forward living each moment as a “life well lived.” 

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What is a life well lived?  Everyone will define this differently. What follows is personal. It is what I think and believe. You may or may not agree. I engaged in a brainstorming session to try to figure things out for me. What follows is the result of that.  Ok – Mike, “What is a life well lived?”

What it is:

What it is not:

It is a life of meaning and purpose. It is a life that appreciates what it has. It is a life that experiences and enjoys each moment. It is active and intentional. It loves. It thinks of others and serves others. It is in the center of God’s will. It serves the Lord. It is used by the Lord in ways greater than its capacity to do things on its own. It is humble. It is wise. It is a life of prayerful reflection that listens and is open enough to be guided by the Lord to His purposes and by His direction. It is following where God has you for the season of life that you are in. It experiences and enjoys and has gratitude for the good things that God has blessed you with. It has faith and trusts and endures the bad things of the season that you are in. It is lived outside of oneself, looking to help others and do good. It recognizes that this life is not the end. It recognizes that this life is but a part of something greater.

It is not a life that runs around vainly pursuing one thing after another that never lead to anything. It is not a life of a sluggard. It is not just doing nothing. It is not pursuing sin or the lusts of the flesh. It is not necessarily easy.  It is not without pain or discomfort. It is not always stressed, always pressured, always harried. While that could be needed for a season, when that is sustained that is often vanity – or a punching at the wind. It is not blind/numb, rushing through life with no purpose or direction. It often is not directed by one’s own self.  It is not that we are so incredibly wise that we can on our own figure out and live the life well lived.  It is not a life to achieve things that must be done in the time here.  It is not pressured to achieve certain big goals.

I reject the idea of certain things that must be done in this life in order for it to be “complete.”  Completeness will never be achieved in this life.  Completeness only comes in the Lord and will only come once we are in His presence. In this life there is no finish line. There is no magic time when we will have crossed that line and say to ourselves that we have done all that we were supposed to have achieved.

I have found that death always seems to come prematurely. Even for those who are in hospice and seem to not die quickly enough, once they are gone it seems that they should not be gone. The hole that they leave behind seems odd, awkward, and out of place. It doesn’t feel right.

If we try to find completeness in this life, or in the cycle of life and death, we will be disappointed. This life is not enough. It will never be enough. If we try to pretend that it is we create something false.

In that sense – I do not want to talk about a life well lived as a summary or resume of all that has gone before. It is not the person sitting on a veranda pondering with self-satisfaction all that they have done and achieved. That never ends up being quite as satisfying as we think it is going to be.

The life well lived is instead a focus on the life we are living now. 

It is about how we are sailing along rather than focusing on the destination. It is a boat perfectly trimmed doing the best that it can amidst the circumstances. It is not about getting there. It is about how and what we do along the journey.

It is not about finally getting to the goal when all is going to be perfect. That is foolishness. We will never reach that point. Even when we get to the imagined point we often long for what has gone before. 

In this moment, I can think of lots of times in my past that I would love to relive. I imagine days when I was in the Navy. In those times I dreamed of the future but yet now (in “the future”) I would love to go and live those experiences again. I would love to feel the joy and pride of putting my uniform on. I would love to be walking around the squadron. I would love to be coming home to my lovely wife and my giggly little daughters.

So also, retirement is not a wonderful goal in which we are blissful, and nothing is wrong. It too will have its challenges as well as its joys. There will be times in retirement when we wish we could be working and active. 

I believe it is possible to have a life well lived in all circumstances. It is possible to live a life well lived while in the midst of a busy work life. It is possible to live a life well lived in retirement when there is no job to go to. It is about enjoying what is present in front of you. It is about seeking what good and what the Lord would want us to focus on in the place where He has put us.

It is possible to live a life well lived in a pandemic. 

And so, what do we do when we have a choice? Do you work or do you retire? What do you do with your time? How do you find what there is for you to do and enjoy in this moment or this phase of your life?

That is of course the age-old issue of how to discern the will of God for our lives. That can be very challenging. Having gone through that process so many times before, I have learned that the answers are seldom ever obvious or black and white. The process of how to do this is however quite clear:

• Often the “what to do” is less important than the “how you do it.” God wants us to seek Him and be faithful. When we come to the fork in the road, often He can and will go with us and use us on either path. The path that we choose may be less important than how we conduct ourselves as we go down the path that we choose. 
• We seek advice – in prayer, from the Scriptures and from wise council. 
• Talk it out. I do this in writing. I wrote this blog and a previous one because my wife told me I should do so. It helps a lot. Others benefit from doing this verbally. They should find “a safe space” to talk. This means someone who will listen rather than advise. This may take time. If you start to talk and you are sent back pat answers or are not allowed to process, you may have chosen the wrong person or the wrong time to talk.
• Sometimes we have to just walk forward and ask God in His grace to guide us. If it is not clear which path to take, we just take one and trust Him to guide us to what He thinks best.

Are my current ongoing symptoms a direction from the Lord? Should I be making some changes? Is this an opportunity to live a better life? Should I be working a reduced schedule?

I think there are a couple of things that are clear:

• The decision is less important than how I live each and every day. What is very clear to me is that I need to live to appreciate and enjoy what is in the day in front of me. I often forget this and regret this. What are the joys and tasks that are in front of me today? 
• It is also clear that I need to work to regain focus each and every day. I so often lose focus and live in a foolish pattern of not appreciating and not living for the Lord but instead living for myself.  For me, this means prayer and study of the scriptures.
• I do not and cannot push as hard as I used to. I cannot live a harried life of meeting multiple demands and pressures upon me. It is a time to live a more balanced life. This is a life that works hard but also comes home and does not work all night. 
• I need and want time to reflect and to write. This is how I think, and it makes me whole in ways that I cannot achieve when I just remain busy. Moments in the morning to reflect and write are a gift to me. They also help to get me focused again.

So – do I change my schedule?

Answer: Not yet.

Answer: Continue to seek the Lord in this.

Answer: I cannot and will not answer all the demands on me. I will achieve what I can in the day that I have and let some things go undone.

^[i] https://manmedicineandmike.com/time-travel-cancer-mortality-and-a-life-well-lived/