The Optimism of Youth, The Weight of Experience and The Absolute Importance of Choosing to Live in the Middle

Sometimes when I am working, I like to listen to music. I listen to a wide variety of different types of music. On a whim recently, I put on a 1991 Loreena McKennitt album that Sarah and I liked early in our marriage.

I was surprised how the music suddenly transported me and changed how I felt inside in that moment. The music continued playing into my Air Pods and as it did, I started feeling younger and to my surprise, optimistic. The feeling was nice. I didn’t want it to stop, so when the album ended, I played it over again, and then as I was driving home after work, once again.

As the music played, I began to wonder. Life can feel heavy.  Why does it feel so heavy sometimes? We all have our Facebook photos where everything looks perfectly wonderful and happy, but in between the moments captured in the photos, there can be a heaviness, or perhaps better described as a seriousness, to life.  This seems to have become more commonplace the older I have grown.

The music however pulled me in the other direction. As it did, I was reminded of a commonly used expression, “the optimism of youth.” 

I remember years ago when Sarah and I volunteered to do some teaching at our church. We took on hard and complicated subjects. An older, more experienced man in our church would laugh and remark how he was impressed that we were not afraid to take on big or hard things. But we were young, and in “the optimism of youth” we believed we could handle it and so did not fear taking on big projects. 

In youth, there is a tendency to believe we can take on the world, conquer it, and remake it all better. 

In the Navy I came into a job and noticed chaos in several practices in the medical department. I was young and I knew I could clean them all up and make them better. A few months later I had structured pathways and plans and even a 3-ring binder of an organizational plan in place. When I left the command to take on another job the binder was filed on a back shelf. It seems that despite all my hard work, I had not permanently fixed everything. ^[1]

There is a person popular on social media who picks random houses with overgrown yards and fixes them up. The transformation is marvelous and the time accelerated work that he captures on video is mesmerizing to watch.^[2] But then, it is inevitable that without continued care, the weeds are going to grow back. Chaos is going to come again.

The contrast has become evident to me. “The optimism of youth” says that we can and should do marvelous things.  “The weight of experience” says that such efforts are in vain. Entropy is going to win. The work that is done is going to be lost. 

I got in the car to drive home as I continued to think about all these things.  As I drove, I realized that I tend to be a defensive driver, anticipating catastrophe at every turn. I remember the person who ran into the side of my car 25+ years ago and vow to not have that happen today. What could go wrong? What catastrophe is coming at me down the road? As I drive, it occurs to me that in my mind I am speculating and getting pulled down by a variety of potential worries and anxieties about current and future happenings in my life. 

Life can feel heavy.

I turned the music on again. Once again, the lightness and optimism returned. I like that person better.  What is so different? I searched inside of me to figure out what it was I was feeling. It was like an elixir that tasted so wonderful that I wanted to take sip after sip as I tried to place the taste. Perhaps, I thought, if I can figure it out, I can then somehow retain it.

There is a wisdom that we gain with life that is very valuable. Knowing what I know now, how would I live my life over if given the chance? 

There is nothing wrong with driving with an awareness of the risks and potential hazards to be a safer driver. There is nothing wrong with understanding that despite whatever wonderful work you do, time will tend to undo what you have done.  It is wise to be aware and cautious of the potential risks and problems in the world. But as I think about all of this, I can begin to feel heavy and old. “Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear…” my children used to laugh at their grandfather who would say that if something was going wrong and sometimes even if there was nothing going wrong. I am beginning to understand why he would react that way.

But there is power and wonder in the optimism of youth. 

The Lord God is on His throne and His purposes are being worked out. The wonderful things that He is working in this world and in my life may be complicated and beyond my understanding. These things might be realized over a much longer period of time than I may understand, but God is in control. At the same time, I must acknowledge that He has given me good gifts to enjoy. Life is not easy, and there are hard things to go through. But in the midst of everything, there are good and happy things to enjoy. He is the creator God who made a world of beauty and wonder with a desire that we could and would enjoy it. 

“Even when I am sad, I am still a little happy,” my daughter said to her grandmother when she was young. Within the midst of wisdom can there still be optimism? Can we somehow live in the middle? Can we choose to be a little happy even when we are sad? 

I think it is not only possible but essential. 

I realize that I must choose to embrace and retain the optimism of youth. I am going to choose to play and laugh and find joy and humor in things whenever I can. I know the seriousness of things and all that there is that I could worry about. I am hoping to actively choose to not let that overwhelm me or define me. I am going to take a sip of the elixir that says these things:

• God is in control. You do not have to worry about everything. If you are a person of faith, you need to relax and trust Him.
• There is joy in this world. Drink richly of it and enjoy it.
• If you see something that is good to do, even if it looks like a big thing, go ahead. Go for it! There is joy and wonderful purpose and meaning and optimism in taking it all on.
• Stop being so serious! Laugh. Play. Enjoy.

My granddaughter runs up and wants to play with the blocks on the floor. She is getting tired and becomes very busy to keep herself going. I too am tired after work. If we pull all the blocks out, we will have to pick them all up again in a few minutes when it is time for her to go home. It is getting late. We have to figure out dinner. There are other things that I should do.  “Oh dear. Oh dear!” I think and then I chuckle to myself inside.  “Of course! Let’s play with the blocks!” 

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^[1] https://manmedicineandmike.com/the-time-i-saved-the-world/

^[2] https://www.youtube.com/c/SBMowing