Gregory Peck is in his prime playing the role of Brigadier General Savage. I talked about this in my blog post last week.
But later in the movie, General Savage becomes a casualty of war. He tries to climb into the aircraft to go on the bombing mission but his body – or perhaps more accurately – his mind – will not let him do so. He is finished. He has given all of his might and energy and he has finally collapsed.
Many of us push ourselves hard. It may be the very long call weekend. It might be the moral strain of caring for a very ill patient population. Or it may be the stress of constant and unremitting demands on us regardless of what we do. We wonder if the day will come someday when we will have pushed too hard. Will we collapse? Will we too reach the point where our bodies or perhaps our minds will no longer be able to go forward? What will it take to get us to this point? What will it be like when we reach that point?
But I think we are asking the wrong questions.
In my previous blog post we referenced the 1949 movie, “Twelve O’Clock High.” This movie is a classic and continues to be used to this day to teach leadership skills in the military. In that post we looked at how Brigadier General Savage (Gregory Peck) assumed the role that he knew was needed to pull together a failing bomber squadron in World War 2. We learned the lesson of “putting on the uniform” of leadership.
But there is a much deeper and more subtle lesson within the movie. It is not one that I was taught. It is not one that I have heard discussed in this context before. I have been struggling to understand it and come to grips with it. I hope that together we can wrestle with it. I do not promise to have this fully developed and understood. I am a novice here and not an expert.
But let us boldly try to figure it out together.
In the movie, the approach taken by General Savage worked. The squadron came together, and the men of the squadron regained confidence and the pride that they needed to be able to be successful. There were casualties. Aircraft and men were lost. But they did much better after he pushed them and made them find the strength they had within themselves.
Then the General becomes a casualty himself.
In the climax of the movie General Savage plans to go on the bombing mission. As he tries to climb into the airplane, his legs physically stop working. He is unable to go, and another pilot must step in to take his place. He then enters into a state of catatonia (unresponsive and staring into space.) This persists until the planes safely return home. He then gets up and lays down and goes to sleep.
When you first watch the movie, you see this as bravery and selfless sacrifice. In other words, General Savage was so committed to the mission that he too was willing to sacrifice himself. The result was severe psychological trauma to the point of a conversion disorder (physical symptoms as a result of psychological trauma) and even catatonia (inability to move or interact because of psychological trauma).
Is this ok?
In the setting of a life or death struggle in war we might think that this level of sacrifice is tolerable. We might even think that it is admirable.
The problem is that we continue to do this even today. We put expectations on ourselves and others that result in similar degrees of psychologic trauma. One of the words that we use for this is “burnout.” We wonder if we will someday reach a breaking point. I have wondered this when the clock goes past midnight for another day in a row and I am still working on finishing charts before the next morning comes. I have wondered this when I feel the trauma of a poor patient outcome and I feel my heart breaking. I have wondered this when all of the pressure to keep up with everything just seems to be so persistent.
And so, the question is whether we have a breaking point. But I think we are asking the wrong question.
The deeper questions are two: (1) Are such casualties acceptable? And (2) If they are not, what do we do to prevent them?
Twelve O’Clock High is only a movie and as such can only help us think and reflect. But please let us indulge a bit more and think about it.
Are these casualties acceptable? I do not think so. I do not actually think they are necessary. Some casualties are necessary risks. The bombers had to fly through the flak and deal with the threats of enemy aircraft. But the commander perhaps has other protections that should have been better used.
And so, answering “no” to question 1 we move to question 2.
First, we must recognize the risks in “putting on the uniform” of leadership. Trying to take on a persona other than your own is admirable and sometimes necessary but is not long sustainable. One of the keys to sustainability and maturity is to learn about your own persona. Who are you? How do you best function? What motivates you and drives you? What happens when you are stressed and what is the best that could be expected from you when all is good?
This may not sound as exciting as sacrificing yourself for a cause, but it is:
- True
- Real
- Mature
- Necessary.
If you read some of the experts who have recovered from burnout, it is also a key to their recovery. With the help of some good authors and my daughter, I have been reading and learning about the Enneagram. In it I can see parts of myself reflected. More than that, I learn what it means to make an honest appraisal of myself both good and bad. In that I learn about my strengths and weaknesses and limitations. It is once I begin to understand those that I then can begin to gain the strength to truly lead instead of just pretending to lead.
General Savage put on a personality. But he could only sustain it for a period of time. Better would have been for him to know his limitations and to know how he needed to transition to what was true and real. There he would have found more strength.
The other biggest limitation is isolation. He carried the burden alone. He put on the persona that was required of him. He carried the responsibility for everything that was happening. When his commanding general asked him to leave and give up the command of the squadron, he refused. It had become his mission and he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders alone.
It is a classic fatal mistake. No one was asking him to do this. He was taking it on himself. And it is a very tempting and intoxicating thing to do. The elixir of pride makes this very tempting. It is pride that feels and tastes so good, but which is deceptive and destructive in the end.
I too recall days of this. I remember the middle of the night decisions. The risks and decisions that were so hard to make. I could feel my shoulders get broad as I would hoist the decisions upon them. It would be scary but also, I would feel inflated by the burden. It is a heavy burden and it is something that all of us can bear for awhile. But it is not the right way to do things.
At times I was told that I was wrong. I was wrong to be bearing these burdens alone. They would tell me that no one was asking me to do this. They would reassure me that they would always be there and that we should depend on each other. At first, I would disagree with this and perhaps even take offense at this. “They just do not understand.” Now I see their wisdom.
What am I saying?
Twelve O’Clock High shows us the epitome of leadership in both positive and negative ways. It is important that we be bold enough to step up and lead. The people around us need us – are depending on us to do so. But it also shows us the failings that we so often fall into.
- You do not have to lead like other people lead. You may need to take on a role uncomfortable to you for a season, but this is only for a period of time until you can shift to what your role truly ought to be. You must find a sustainable role for yourself.
- You must be brave enough to learn yourself. Use whatever tool you find most helpful. I favor the enneagram as one that opens up both your strengths and weaknesses. Whatever the tool it must do both sides. And you must be willing to accept both. From there you can understand what leading means for you in a manner that is sustainable for you.
- You must never be alone. We were never intended to go it alone. Figure out your network of support above – alongside – and below you. In this there is great strength.
I hope this post makes sense? I struggle a bit because I think these lessons are deep and not easily understood. But I am still reading and learning and growing.
Thanks for letting me think and wrestle with these thoughts with you.
