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Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

Mediocrity! Mediocrity!

These were the words that the composer Antonio Salieri spoke as they wheeled him down the halls of the asylum in the end of the movie, “Amadeus.” 

To me the message hit with real power. There is something within us that longs for purpose, meaning and value. No one wants their life to be characterized by being bland or just existing. No one wants to be condemned with the criticism of being “mediocre.”

Whether the story of the movie is true or not, the concept rings true. Salieri was portrayed as viewing himself as the patron saint of the mediocre. He was in essence judging everyone. He was calling all the people around him, “mediocre.” He was calling all of us mediocre. He could do this because he had judged – or perhaps – had condemned – himself to the lot of the mediocre.

The movie shows Salieri promising himself to God if God would bless him with musical greatness. His world was music and composing. He wanted exceptional – heavenly – talent. He worked hard at it. 

But then he saw Mozart. 

In Mozart’s genius he saw the very essence and beauty of God. This drove him crazy. What he had sought after for so long was given to an irreverent Mozart. Mozart lacked the deep serious commitment to God that Salieri had made. And yet in this one that Salieri could not respect, he saw the very beauty and hand of God. 

Salieri fought against it. He in fact used Mozart’s passion for music to drive him to his death. He secretly pushed him to compose a requiem mass that in the end would be for Mozart’s own requiem. In spite of all Mozart achieved, he suffered a premature and untimely death at the age of 35.

This plot may not be entirely true. It makes for a fascinating movie. There have been many legends about how Mozart died, including one that said that Salieri poisoned him gradually with mercury. The movie picked up on this theme and amplified it. It played on the irony of Mozart continuing to work on his own funeral music while he was lying on his death bed.

But the concepts – or themes – do ring true.

Mediocrity! Mediocrity!

That is a fear. It is a fear that we will have lived our lives and have squandered them. That we will not have achieved anything meaningful. That our time here will have just been going through the motions of life and nothing more. That we will have spent our time running in circles doing nonsense. And then we are gone.

We give awards and honors and speeches. We do things to reassure each other that our lives have not been “mediocrity.”

We were created to be creative. We are meant to achieve. We are meant to do things of meaning and value. We should leave a legacy – not of money or things – but of value and meaning.

And so, we all may face at times the insecurity of Salieri. 

We may judge ourselves and our lives. We condemn what we do and what we have done to the level of the mediocre. It does not compare to others who we view as great. It perhaps does not compare to the myriad of dreams and aspirations that we held for ourselves when we were young. When we were young there were so many possibilities. The world was wide open, and we had so much that we could and would do. As we age, we fear that in old age we will represent little more than a patron saint of the mediocre – the bland and purposeless – the ordinary.

It is interesting to look within the movie at Salieri’s envy and resentment of Mozart. Salieri was achieving fame. But Salieri allowed himself to be destroyed by the greater genius of Mozart. Had he never known Mozart he might have been happy. But having seen the greatness of another he would never be satisfied with his own talent. 


It went beyond this. He viewed it as a frustration – or perhaps a curse – or a disrespect of his prayers to God. Rather than God granting him the incredible talent he had asked for, He gave it to the irreverent Mozart. How dare God do this? If God would not answer first his humble request, then his earnest request, and then finally his demands, Salieri would instead then destroy the beauty God created.

How dare God not answer his prayer? Who does He think He is?

Uhhh. Well. God. That is who God thinks He is. 

He is the almighty creator of the universe. He is the one who created all things, and knows all things, and who has a beautiful plan of restoration and glory for His creation. 

He is the one who is to be worshiped and obeyed but also trusted. The world may not make sense as it is. And we have a choice. We can be driven crazy by it. Or we can submit and trust and be content in it.

Are you mediocre?

If you are willing to listen and obey and accept the role in this world that God has for you, you will in no way be mediocre. 

Imagine that the almighty creator of the universe loves you and not only has a plan but that He wants to allow you glory by being a part of His plan. The secret is that by humble submission to the plans of God you will achieve greatness far more than any who would seek it on their own.

Salieri felt that in not being blessed by God and then by opposing God he had become mediocre. That makes sense. But the opposite is entirely true. By accepting God and the place and the purposes and the roles that He has for you, you are or will be given amazing glory. 

For in the humble service of the Lord, the common becomes sacred. The help that you provide to a small child is no longer just what anyone would commonly do, it is a sacred calling. For the Lord can use your kindness to impact that child’s life and help them to achieve amazing things. The word of comfort to a friend is no longer some pop culture advice, but instead can be the ministry of God’s children to each other, blessed by His love and power.

Don’t be afraid to dream big in the Lord.

He might have great things in store for you to do.

Don’t also be so foolish as to disrespect what roles He has given you to do. From a heavenly perspective they may be so great – so beyond mediocre – that it will fill you up with wonder when all is made known.

The simple can become sacred. The smallest act may become the greatest achievement.

The movie hit me hard in 1984 when I saw it because it reflected a great truth in the error of Salieri. A fool is one who lives his life without wisdom. Salieri then was a fool who could not see the greatness and wonder that could have come from accepting God’s role for his life. A life lived in opposition to God does indeed result in mediocrity. I wanted to cry out to the figure on the movie screen. A life lived for the purposes that God has for you – no matter how simple it may look on the outside – is one of true greatness and glory.

Your life can be sacred. Your life can have immense meaning. It is not necessary to be in great positions or power. The one – the Almighty – with the greatest position and power has commissioned you to serve. Can you faithfully accept that service? In that nothing is mediocre. It is glory.

Categories
Being human Medicine Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine

Listening

“You seem upset that we did surgery on the wrong side of your body.”

Reflective listening. They taught us about this in medical school. It was in our history and physical exam course. We were specifically taught how to handle an upset patient. The technique was to reflect back what they were saying to you. You were to do this even if you couldn’t provide an answer to what they were saying.

“You seem upset that your surgery was delayed.”

“You seem upset that your son is not doing well.”

 “You seem upset that you had the wrong leg amputated.”

It seemed ridiculous to me. We had to practice it on each other.  They gave us all sorts of goofy scenarios to emphasize the technique like that. We all thought it was a bit ridiculous, but we followed the protocol and learned it. 

Oddly – it works. 

Even with someone who is very very upset, reflecting back their concern can calm them and help the dialogue to go forward.  It has been an invaluable tool through the years. In retrospect that was probably one of the most valuable classes that I had in medical school.

Why?

We need to listen to others. On the other side of it, all of us need to know that we have been heard.

I confess that I am not perfect at this. It is so easy to talk to get my points out rather than actually listening to what other people are saying. And when I do this the conversation can go in circles. Each of us keeps repeating the same thing hoping to be heard. The conversation can get louder and louder and more and more jumbled. 

If I would stop and just intentionally acknowledge what you are saying it would go a long way to improving our communication.  I am frankly pleased that I have a little bit of a reputation for using some of these phrases.  “What I hear you saying is…”

I have found reflective listening to be very effective in working with patients. I have found it to be even more important in meeting settings. 

In an ideal world, every person at the meeting has a purpose for being there. This means that they bring some special training or purpose or value to the meeting. Every person deserves to be listened to. More than that – they really deserve to be heard. If we as a group do not hear them, we have robbed ourselves of the perspective and value that they might bring to the conversation. And often the most junior person might just bring the fresh perspective that helps the rest of us see through the cloud of confusion to what is really going on or what really needs to happen.

That is reflective listening. But there is another lesson that sticks in my mind.

We had a controversial issue during my training as a flight surgeon in the United States Navy. Eventually it came to a special board of flight surgeons (SBFS) to make a decision. This was where the data was presented to all the flight surgeons present in the area and they could then all vote on what was appropriate. The idea is that in the setting of unclear issues, we fall back to expert opinion, and the more experts you can have, the better the decision.

In this case however, the commanding officer interjected a comment. It had wisdom in it. He said of one person presenting, “This doctor is my expert in this area. I either need to trust him and listen to him or fire him.”

That was a fascinating example of empowerment. Suddenly the specialist was being heard. More than that, the specialist felt the burden and duty of his position. He was being asked to have a real impact on the decision making for the entire group. There was an immense weight put upon him. It was an appropriate weight however. He was indeed the expert. His opinion in the matter should really matter. And he should feel and shoulder that responsibility. He shifted from just telling his opinion and “washing his hands” to helping us all struggle with the decision. When he spoke, it was with a much different “gravitas” than it would have been had the commanding officer not empowered him in such a way.

Of course, not everyone is correct. Even specialists can be wrong sometimes. And this does not mean that the rest of us can abdicate our judgement or our conscience. But if we have someone who is supposed to be bringing a special view on something, we had better really listen to them, or we had better “fire” them.

I would call this, “empowered listening.” We really ought to do this more often.If we fail in this people can keep their opinions at a superficial and frankly not very helpful level. But if we truly empower them, then they are pushed to a much greater depth. What they say suddenly has more intensity and meaning. 

I do think there is one even deeper level however.“Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”[1]

This is a lesson that I learned from my college roommate John. He may not even know that he taught me this.[2]I was the one that always wanted to talk. We would come away from talking with someone else and I would discover that John had learned more than me. He had been listening more deeply to the person we had been with. He taught me by example some very valuable lessons. I will call these lessons collectively, “Treasured listening.”

  1. Go into each conversation hopingto be surprised.If someone says something that does not fit, you might just have discovered an area where you might actually learn. That is a golden and precious opportunity. Do not lose it.Push it forward. Reflect back what they say if need be. Ask more questions. Like pursuing a nugget of gold under the water, go after it. Grab a handful of the sand if need be and sort through it hoping to find the precious within it.
  2. Assume that everyone brings a little different perspective. Value that difference and celebrate it. Push yourself to learn from it. That is another opportunity to grow and be changed. No one likes a movie in which you can predict the entire plot and ending. Look for how people think differently. Try to put on their perspective as you might try on their jacket or their gloves. See what it feels like. We seem to all assume that others think like us. They do not. Even though they might be similar in their thinking, there are always subtle differences. Look for them. Celebrate them. Try them on. In so doing you can really learn. I tried this with John’s Dad one day. He told of his profound disappointment in not being medically qualified to fight in WWII. This has stuck with me. It made me realize how wildly different the times were then. Everyone really wanted to go and fight. They were ready to be put into harm’s way. That conversation taught me that tomorrow we all might see things completely different than today. September 11, 2001 was a classic example. In an instant many of us changed how we thought. Tomorrow might bring an event into our lives that will change our thinking again. We can learn today from other’s experiences if we are just wise enough to truly look for it, celebrate it, and listen to it.
  3. Value other people.It amazes me the number of times that I go into a conversation and all I really care about is what I am going to say. I walk away empty from those conversations. Everyone has value in the eyes of God. They were created in His image and as such I should value them. I am a fool if I do not push myself to give everyone value. I squander the opportunity of knowing them.If I do this, I walk away emptier. But if I truly value them, I can grow and have a rich experience of them. It does not matter how young or old, rich or poor, educated or uneducated. People all have value. I remember one older patient. He was slow of speech. I wanted to rush in and rush out. I wanted to assume he had little to contribute. It was only because he reminded me of a family friend that I slowed down. I sat down. I listened. And I was richly rewarded. He was in there. He was not only in there, but he carried the wisdom of his age. He was mostly alone because most of us where moving just too fast to notice. But for the wise person who would sit down and slow down and listen, there were precious jewels of wisdom. 

Reflective listening:Bounce back what you hear people saying so that they can know that you heard them. This is powerful.

Empowered listening:Let people, or even make people, take responsibility for their position and training.

Treasured listening: People are a treasure. You can learn and grow each other from every conversation if you are willing to work at it. Look for surprises. Find the difference in their perspective. Value them. If you do this, you will be richly rewarded.

[1]Proverbs 18:2, 18:15 (NIV)

[2]Thank you John!