My Desk is a Mess Again – The Struggles of a Process Oriented Thinker Living Life in a World of Entropy

I went to sit and work at my desk, but it is a mess again. It is covered by a jumble of medical journals, sailing magazine, tax receipts, and various pieces of mail. I had it perfectly cleaned just a few weeks ago. It is so frustrating how it rapidly seems to accumulate stuff. It is like my desk is a magnet for messiness. If I leave it alone, it will inevitably become messy. 

I know. It is my fault. I am the reason it gets messy. But it seems like it magically goes from order to disorder.

Life seems to go from order to disorder.

It is because of entropy.

Entropy is (according to Wikipedia) “a scientific concept, as well as a measurable physical property that is most commonly associated with a state of disorder, randomness or uncertainty.”  In essence the concept of entropy is that unless energy is exerted, things in nature tend to end up in a state of disorder.

So, the problem with my desk is not my fault. 

It is entropy. 

In other words, one of the key forces of the universe is this drive from order to disorder. So, when my desk gets messy it is not my fault. It is the fault of entropy. 

In order to counter entropy, energy is required. My desk tends to get really messy and then I commit myself to “the big clean”. I sit down and go through all the clutter. I sort and file things. I through a lot of things away. 

The “big clean” is me inputting energy into the equation to undo the entropy. Now I could choose to input energy every day. That would fight the entropy on each occasion. Smaller amounts of energy could counter the smaller daily amounts of entropy. Or I could do as I usually do and let the entropy take over until it reaches a crisis. At that point I then input a much larger amount of energy to counter it.

Entropy is something that is frustrating to those of us who are process thinkers. We want to think that we can design a perfect system, one in which our personal energy is invested up front, and then have things continue to work smoothly.

Computer programs generally seem to work that way.  Write the program. Hit run. Sit back and let it work.

Unfortunately, life is not like that.  I referenced this in a prior blog post, “The Time I Saved the World.”^[1] In my youth I naively thought that I could once for all fix a problem and not have it come back. It is SO frustrating when the problems just seem to repeatedly and annoyingly come back.

I sat in our heart failure excellence improvement team (EIT) meeting this week. We were looking at our quality measures and at some numbers that had gotten worse. Deep down I was frustrated and feeling a bit like a failure. Each of these problems we had fixed at one point. We had processes that we designed and implemented, and we had our outcomes improving and exceeding expectations.

But entropy sits in the back of the room and mockingly laughs at me. “Do you really think that you could fix these problems just once? You are a fool!”

Queue the sinister arch nemesis laugh… “Ha ha ha ha ha ha…”

The issue of course is that as soon as we achieve an outcome, without persistent energy, things continue to slide back again. Early on we designed some amazing pathways. I even presented them on posters and in presentations at national meetings. Our health system even made some nice fancy flyers celebrating our success. We had an interview once on the television news about some of the processes we had in place. But then people changed positions or had their responsibilities and focus shifted. The energy that was holding back the entropy dropped off. Things went right back to where they were before.

“An untended garden always grows weeds,” I say in the meetings. 

I feel like a failure at times. As a process thinker I still believe deep down that if I was competent I would have fixed each and every problem once and for all. When the problems come back I think I must not have been good enough to really have permanently fixed them.

But then my desk is messy again. I see the problem now. I am a process thinker who wants to put in a big push of energy and then sit back and not exert energy. I am not the person who is okay constantly putting in smaller amounts of energy to maintain things. That is not who I am. I am a process guy not a maintainer. I want to build the machine but not run it.

This is a very important life lesson. It goes far beyond my messy desk.

1. Entropy is real. If you leave things unattended, they will degenerate into disorder.
2. Energy is needed to counter entropy. You must put energy into whatever is important to you if you want to maintain it. 
3. You can do this continually or you can do it in large amounts on an infrequent basis. The latter method is riskier because sometimes you can’t undo that damage from the disorder that occurs.
4. If you are a process thinker you should over time begin to understand the principles of entropy and energy so that you are not harmed by them.

It is true for quality outcomes in healthcare.  Constant energy is necessary. When you achieve success, fight to make sure that the sources of energy are not pulled away. It is the nature of organizations that they will constantly look at where they can trim away expenses and personnel. That means that you must constantly be ringing the alarm to get them to keep resources in place. Registries and watching the data are important so that you can remind them (and yourself) to keep your sources of energy in place.

It is true in relationships. If you do not exert energy, disorder will ensue. It is far better to not let the desk get messy and then have to fix it. If it really matters to you, input the energy into the relationship before a crisis ensues. After I initially wrote this I made a point to tell my wife how much I love her. I should think about constantly putting energy into that relationship.

I have been amazed at how many relationships have been destroyed after years of success. There are many causes, but the truth is that no matter how long people have been together, without investing energy, chaos (disorder and destruction) can occur.

If it is important to you then it is going to require energy. Entropy demands it.  

What matters to you? Make a mental list. Spouse? Children? Career? Faith? Health or fitness? Home? Yard? (Sailboat? 😀)

Unless you are willing to invest continued sustained energy, you will lose them to disorder and chaos. Can you please be intentional? Can you decide what matters and then push yourself to put the energy in that is required to make and keep them?

My desk looks better again today. 

It isn’t going to last.

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^[1] https://manmedicineandmike.com/the-time-i-saved-the-world/