“Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened. But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…”[1]
I share a lot of who I am on this blog.
Out of gentleness and respect I do not commonly get very strongly into the reason for the hope that I have.
But these words are profound. They show how we are to share with each other. I wish we would learn them and listen to them.
Gentleness: Each of us have been bruised by life. It is not always an easy go. And on the other side of it, most of us are “fix it people.” We want to take your painful, complicated situation that you cannot get out of and “fix it.”
The intention is good but in so doing we can inflict real harm.
Obviously, you would fix it if it were in your power. And we can do so much harm if we shove a solution at you. We are to be gentle with each other. I am sorry for the harm and pains that life has brought your way. I am sorry if I or other well-meaning people have tried to “fix it” without gentleness.
I promise – as I have been taught – that I will be gentle.
Respect:Why is it that when it comes to issues of religion, we think that it is ok to assume that our friends are idiots. Perhaps it is not that extreme, but we all are intelligent. We all have walked through many life experiences. We all have ideas of what we think and believe and why.
We all deserve respect. I want you to give it to me. I don’t want you to come up and shove something at me. In all honesty I want you to respect me. I want you to recognize I have a brain and to value what I think.
If I respect you, I should assume that you have some wisdom for me. It is only common courtesy that I must assume that there are things that I can learn from you. Dialogue is good. Listening more than talking is really good.
We don’t have to agree with each other. It is not a surprise that we might think differently about things. But can we still talk and learn from each other? Could we be so wise as to do this with “gentleness and respect?”
If all we ever do is talk to people who agree with us, what good is that? How do we grow from that? But if we are so brave as to listen to people when they might think differently, there is immense power in that.
But we have to do so with respect. We often jump to debate mode. I would encourage you to click into “respect and listen” mode. If they are wrong there will be time later to reflect. And if they would engage in “respect and listen” mode by your example you will have a chance to bring your thoughts back to them. But if you immediately defend your view you likely have not taken the time to listen and truly hear. You likely have missed out on learning something. They have a brain. They have had life experiences that you have not had. Remember that. Pause. Listen!
And so, what is the basis of the hope that I have?
I will gladly answer that for any who want to know the reasons for my hope.
But it does no good, and in fact I think it does harm, for either of us to shove what we believe down each other’s throats. Could we each offer it up freely as a gift to each other so that by so doing we could each learn and grow from each other. Could we treat each other with gentleness and respect?
For me, I have found a loving God who holds me and teaches me and gives me hope. He has blessed me in so many ways. He gives me a promise of a great future. This is both on this earth and beyond. I say this not in arrogance or drumming up a delusional belief to make myself feel better. I say this based on my life experiences and the rational brain that He has given me.
I also really feel good when I thank him for you and all that you mean to me.
Message me if you want to share the reasons for your hope or joy. I would be eager to hear. I promise to listen. You can leave it as a comment here but only if you promise to do it with gentleness and respect.
Message me if you want to talk more about my reasons for hope and joy. I too will promise to do so with gentleness and respect.
Can we all please do the same?
[1]1 Peter 3:14-15 (NIV)
5 replies on “Gentleness and Respect”
Amen Dr. Dickinson. Our hope and joy is in the Lord, the giver of life. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Romans 12:12
Thank you for sharing
I share with you Mike The Reason for hope and joy! Thank you for sharing your insights!
Poetry gives both gentleness and respect, a respect for how things are said, a calming of the mind to try to understand human pains and phobias in am organized simple direct way.
Some few months before he dies, JFK wrote this on poetry. It speaks true to me and reminds me that I’m the past thousands of people went to poetry readings to be heal by
The readings
“At bottom he held a deep faith in the spirit of man. And it is hardly an accident that Robert Frost coupled poetry and power, for he saw poetry as the means of saving power from itself.
When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man’s concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses, for art establishes the basic human truths which must serve as the touchstones of our judgement. The artists, however faithful to his personal vision of reality, becomes the last champion of the individual mind and sensibility against an intrusive society and an officious state. The great artist is thus a solitary figure. He has, as Frost said, “a lover’s quarrel with the world.” In pursuing his perceptions of reality he must often sail against the currents of his time. This is not a popular role. If Robert Frost was much honored during his lifetime, it was because a good many preferred to ignore his darker truths. Yet, in retrospect, we see how the artist’s fidelity has strengthened the fiber of our national life…”
I believe in finding and sustaining a spiritual Homeostasis, especially important when one is healing.
Linda Chown
Gentleness and respect are the two main ingredients of human love and personal strength.
Dr. Dickinson, when you tell us how you are learning, I think we can feel those two qualities: gentleness and respect. Feel them and question outselves: do I treat my deepest friends with respect, so I really? Inside do I impeach them in my
Mind with superiority slurs. Am I patient and gentle?
Really, if you don’t respect someone, odds are you may not be kind to them through and through.
Respect and gentleness together are a miracle of an enlightened loving patient soul.