Coffee Cups

They are white china cups with a nice gold trim on them. They are from a coffee serving set. I keep them in my office at work. They mean a lot to me. And recently (last fall) I have been honored to have others appreciate what they mean. 

Let me explain.

I had wonderful grandparents growing up. Both sides were an important part of my life in their own unique ways. This story is about Grandma Hill. If I had to pick a couple of words to describe her, I think they would be “love” and “contentment.” As a child, I used to really enjoy visiting their house because you could feel their love whenever you went. The hardest part of visiting was when we had to leave. The rest of it always seemed just to be a joy.

My personal favorite place was their house on Dunbar Road. The mind pictures are imprinted on my brain. I can picture the kitchen. I remember the little plaque, “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!”

As they aged, we lost Grandpa Hill. They were happy in the little house that they had later moved to. Grandma did ok after he was gone for quite a while. Sarah and I had the joy of picking her up one day and driving with her across state to a family get together. As we drove, she told us how happy she was in her home.  She said, “I don’t need very much. I am just happy puttering around my little house.” 

This was a great example to us of contentment. We don’t need a lot of things. We don’t actually end up happier with a bigger house or a lot more stuff in our house. We just need to appreciate what you have. Grandma Hill was good at that. She was happy to just be alone and able to enjoy her little house.

She had a lot of grandchildren. She used to give all of them presents. I don’t know how she kept up with it all, but she did. But as she got older and as she went through various illnesses it was not as easy for her to keep up with the gift giving. It must have also been a real strain on her budget to do so. But she was insistent on still getting something for all of us. One year she bought us a used coffee set from a yard sale. When we got it, I thought it was beautiful. I also didn’t know what I was going to do with it. It didn’t match our own dishes. It was fine china and not the sort that you would normally use on an every day basis. But I was immensely touched that she gave it to us. More than that I was thankful that she still was able to give us a gift. It was important to her and because of that it was important to me.

Then we went to Europe.

When Sarah and I and the girls went to Europe for the first time, what coffee meant was changed in my mind. In Europe they did not have take-out coffee. They did not have paper cups and lids. That would have been offensive to them at that time. Coffee was an experience. It was something you did more than just something you drank. Coffee meant stopping and sitting down and relaxing. It would always be served in a nice cup often with a little cookie on the side. At 1^stI struggled with this. In my busy American mind, I wanted to grab a cup and keep going. By the end of the trip I had learned the joys of coffee. I looked for the little cafes and looked forward to the experience. We would all stop, and we would just have coffee together. We would be forced to stop and rest and talk together. Often, we would replay our day and what we had enjoyed. But more than anything we would just stop. The night before we left to return to the US I insisted that we go to the city center and sit outside and have a coffee. It was not about drinking the coffee. It was about sitting at a table in a beautiful place and being there. It was about the moment.

When I came back home, I stopped at Starbucks on my way to work. I watched the person in front of me grab a Venti coffee and then dash out the door. The huge paper cup suddenly looked obscene and an insult to the coffee experience. I almost wanted to cry. I decided that morning that if I could ever drink coffee out of a real cup, that I was going to do.

And so, I went home and found the coffee service set from Grandma Hill. I brought it to my office so that I could experience coffee even at work. It is fun to offer people a cup of good coffee in a fine china coffee cup complete with the saucer underneath. Meetings don’t seem quite so rushed. It makes us feel a little bit more professional. We are not in panic mode. We are civilized. We can experience coffee. We can experience the moment.

The coffee cups and saucers in my office mean a lot of things to me. 

1. Love: The love of a grandmother who showed it by giving gifts to all of her grandchildren. Even when the budget was tight, she found ways to show her love. In return I love those coffee cups.
2. Contentment: They remind me of her joy in just being in her house. You don’t need a lot more than what you have. You are not happier with more. You just need to enjoy what you have. If you do this, then you can be content.
3. Slow down: Coffee can and should be an experience more than just a drink. Whenever you get the chance, insist on a real cup. Hold it in your hands and sip from it. Slow down and taste it and enjoy it. If you are with someone else, talk to them. Put your phone down. Experience them. Truly have a cup of coffee. Don’t just drink it.

That is the story of the coffee cups.

Many of you are aware of the pins that were made up in support of me and my recovery from cancer surgery and treatment. For those that are not, they are an image of my coffee cups. This is immensely touching. It is overwhelming to see how people care about me. It also is important that people have noticed the importance of these cups to me.

What is the message for this blog?

• Love. 
• Contentment
• Experience moments and others. Oh – and whenever you get the chance – insist on drinking your coffee slowly out of a really nice cup!