Category: Reflections on the Christian Life

Reflections from the scriptures or on what it means to me to be a Christian. My hope is to show that the Christian life is one which can and should be lived with personal honesty, intellectual rigor, and respect for others.

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Being human Medicine Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

Anchors Aweigh – Or How a Prank Taught Me About Being Human

The assignment was to write and deliver a motivational speech. 

It was a standard part of the leadership training. It seemed like kind of a hokey and contrived assignment. 

We wondered if we could make it better.

We were a group of medical students, dental students, nurses and law students. We were in our “Officer’s Indoctrination School” (OIS) for the United States Navy. This was a 6-week training course that was designed to take us from being civilians to being officers in the U.S. Navy. We learned how to march and salute. We learned how to wear our uniforms. We learned about the customs and regulations of the Navy. 

We also learned a lot about leadership. I didn’t realize it then, but it molded a lot of who I am today.

During the training I made good friends. Perhaps it was the stress of staying up all night running floor buffers to wax and polish the floors. Or prepping for the inspections using a toothbrush to scrub the cracks on the floor. Or in using Q-tips to clean the windowsills. Or choosing to not sleep in your bed because you might wrinkle the perfectly made bed with its tightly ironed hospital corners. But in any event, we had become good friends.

We were talking about the assignment together. How could we truly deliver a motivational speech? One of us came up with a silly idea. It was risky. We could get in trouble. But the more we talked about it, the more we liked it. We thought it would be worth the risk.

The class time came, and we were all ready. 

One of my friends got up to give his speech. As he got near the climax of his speech, we perfectly executed our plan. It started out with just a very low-level humming. Then it grew. 

Ever so slightly louder. 

And then a little bit louder. 

And then it was clear what was happening. 

A group of us in the class were humming, “Anchor’s Aweigh!” 

The humming got so that we were filling the room with sound and then we let it all go. We jumped to our feet and began singing at the top of our lungs, 

“Anchors Aweigh, my boys, Anchors Aweigh. Farewell to college joys, we sail at break of day-ay-ay-ay. Through our last night on shore, drink to the foam, Until we meet once more. Here’s wishing you a happy voyage home.”

It was risky.

We could have gotten in a lot of trouble.

We looked at our Lieutenant Commander instructor to see if we were going to have to pay a penalty for our little prank. 

She had tears streaming down her face. 

They were not tears of sadness. They were not tears of laughter. 

Then we understood. And the joke was on us. In that moment we all learned a lesson. 

That was the day that I became a part of the United States Navy.

Suddenly I was filled with immense pride and a sense of belonging. I understood the deep traditions of the Navy. I felt linked to the many men and women who had so bravely fought and risked everything to be a part of the Navy. In an instant I understood what it meant to be committed to something bigger than myself.I understood how hearing just a song could trigger deep emotions of pride and respect and belonging. I had tears in the corners of my eyes. And I was now an officer in the United States Navy.

I have been a member of the Navy in my heart ever since that day. I have been so proud of my uniform. Even though this incident happened in May of 1988 and I left active duty in the Navy in June of 1996, I am still Navy. My uniforms are still hung in my closet. I looked at them the other day and I had no intention of moving them. 

It distressed me a couple of years ago when I realized I was likely too old to ever go back on active duty again. In the back of my head had always been this little thought that if ever I got “tired of it all” I might go back in the Navy. But time has marched on and that no longer seems possible. But I am still Navy. 

I heard them singing the “Navy Hymn” for Bush 41’s funeral this fall. It got me a little bit choked up and nostalgic again. That is the song of “my Navy”. I got to serve in the same Navy in which George Bush risked his life in World War II and which molded him into who he was.

What does all of this matter to you?

For those of you who were in the military I suspect it rings true. There is such a strong sense of identity that never seems to leave. There is a link to the generations of men and women who committed themselves to something greater than themselves. The link is to many who have died in the service. There is a link to many who experienced things that I never want to experience. There is a link to tradition and honor and leadership.

For those of you who have never served in the military, the lesson is clear.

There is great value in committing yourself to something bigger than yourself. 

If all you ever do in life is to think about and to live for yourself, you have not achieved very much. You are but one life and your concerns and desires are a small thing. But we were meant to and we were designed to be a part of things bigger than ourselves. 

That is another part of what it means to be human. 

We are not just living a life here of survival on this earth. We are not just going to go through our days surviving and then die. We were meant to build and create and grow. And by working together we can do so much more than we ever could alone.

We were meant to dream big and to build big. What is there that you care about? Is there something that you are willing to invest yourself in? Is there something that is more important than just your own needs and desires? What is there that is worth living for?

Maya Angelou said, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

We were meant to create. We were meant to build. We were meant to stand up against injustice and evil. We were meant to band together for what is good and right. And in doing that we find purpose and meaning and honor and joy. 

Thatis something that can make a silly old song trigger tears from a place deep down inside. It can make you cry in a way that is not sad and not laughing but of profound purpose and meaning.

I recently read an article that said that one of the drivers for frequent job changes among millennials is a need for real purpose and meaning. Financial ROI (return on investment) is no longer enough to keep them satisfied and challenged in their work. They feel a strong pull toward finding something big enough to be worth their energy and passion.

What does this mean for your life?

Do not live just for yourself. Live for things bigger than yourself.It is not just the military. It is anything that has deep purpose and meaning for you. What will you treasure at the end of your life? What will you commit yourself to that is so much more than just living for you?

For me it is a bunch of things. 

I am forever proud to have been a part of the Navy. 

I am a father and together with my wife, I am committed to the growth and success of my daughters.

I am proud to have joined the ranks of healthcare professionals as a physician. This is not an isolated thing but is large club that binds us together in shared purpose and experiences. Regardless of what anyone might think, the vast majority of physicians were drawn to healthcare by a desire to use their intelligence and skills for real good.

I have committed myself to making healthcare better in my region. Within heart failure I would like to think that I am not only helping in the care of individual patients with heart failure. While that is excellent in and of itself, there is more. I also want to be a part of having improved the care in my organization. I also dream that I could improve the care beyond this. I want to improve things for an entire region. By example and energy and in whatever way I can, I want to think that patients will get better care by the time I am finished than when I started. That is a huge goal and makes me inspired just to think of it. I just wish there was a song that I could hum as I write this!

On a deeper level, as I have mentioned, I am also a man of faith. 

I believe in an Almighty Creator who has made us in His image and who allows us to be a part of His redemptive plan for His creation. The world is a fractured place. Everything is not as it is supposed to be. That is obvious. But I have a belief in a God who is executing a plan to repair it all. And I believe that He allows us to be a part of it.

That is a very deep level of belonging. 

Suddenly I belong to thousands of years of people who have lived by faith. There are people who have lived and died, many as martyrs, for standing up for what is right. They have opposed tyrants and evil throughout generations. And I am, by an incredible gift of God’s grace, even linked to the sufferings of Christ. This is a deep mystery, but I am linked even to Him. I am, by the purpose and plan of God, linked to a plan to redeem and remake the world into the place that it was meant to be. 

To be committed to such deep purposes is a big part of what it means to be truly human!

What are you living for? What is there that is greater than yourself?

“Anchors aweigh, my boys, anchors aweigh!”

And that is how a little prank flipped back on me and taught me a big lesson about what it means to be a human being.

Categories
Being human Reflections on Life, Being Human, and Medicine Reflections on the Christian Life

What I Learned From Wearing an Ugly Blue Smock – Or – Learning to Be Held and Not Just Hold On

The smock was a loose-fitting blue waist length jacket. They had a rack of them. You were supposed to just pick a random jacket off the rack and put it on. I felt a little bit foolish in it. It was not the epitome of fashion or style. It was clearly not cool. But, as I would later discover, it was empowering.

I was volunteering as a chaplain’s assistant in medical school. 

I wanted to understand more of the spiritual side of medicine. As a medical student I felt bound by my position as to what I should or should not do. It is hard to cross the line from the medical to the spiritual.[1]It is not often clear if or when it is appropriate to do this. There is a distinct power gradient between physician and patient that must be respected. And therefore, crossing this line must be very carefully done and commonly by invitation only. I generally now ask myself, “How would I want to be treated as a patient by a physician with beliefs different than my own?”

But as a medical student how was I to learn? Would I really be a full physician if I did not understand the spiritual as well as the physical? My Christian faith made me want to integrate the two together. If I was going to be a Christian and a physician, I wanted to be able to understand how to provide spiritual care to my patients when I was invited to do so. If my own spiritual life was important how could I ignore it completely in my patients?

Some of my friends from the CMDA[2]had worked as volunteer chaplains. I thought it might be a good idea. It would give me a chance to take on a different role. I hoped that I could minister to patients. In so doing I might possibly help them, and they might help me develop as a person in the process.

There was not a lot of orientation. We were told that we would be given a list of the floors that we could go visit. We should respect patients’ privacy. And we should wear the “chaplain volunteer smock.” That was about it. 

I put on my smock, took my paper that told me what floor and units I was allowed to visit and headed off. 

I had little idea what I was going to do or what I was doing. I figured I would just do my best to try to talk to people. In the process perhaps, I could encourage them. I hoped that I might share some of my faith with them. I hoped I might possibly help them spiritually in their time of trouble in the hospital. It was a little bit scary.

I would pop into each room and introduce myself as a chaplain volunteer and ask if they wanted to talk. The vast majority of the time I was promptly excused. They would tell me, “Thank you, but I am fine.” I would then move onto the next room and then the same pattern would repeat over and over again. Once I had made it around the unit I would head back, hang up my smock and go back to my life as a medical student.

I remember one patient in particular. He looked to be in his early 20s. I don’t know what his medical problem was. He looked to have been in the hospital for a while.  What stood out were his reading materials. On his bed and nightstand, he had a variety of pornographic magazines scattered around. Standing there in the chaplain’s smock, it made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. He didn’t try to hide the magazines. I asked my standard question of whether he wanted to talk or not. He didn’t. I was happy to leave.

This was my pattern for a while.  And then I discovered a secret technique. 

I asked people if they wanted to pray.

It was like magic. 

Almost every time their guard would drop, and they would say yes. I could see a visible change on their faces. They would no longer be in a defensive or “playing strong” mode. Their posture would change. They would soften. They would welcome me into their room. They would let me into their world. 

And I would pray for them. It would not be unusual for them to have tears in their eyes when I finished. I would thank them for letting me be a part of their lives and their struggle. They would always thank me. It was amazing!

Why were these like “magic words?” I have thought about this for years. 

I think if we can understand this, we will have gained a fundamental understanding of the human condition. We will just begin to understand a bit of how we were created and how we are intended to function.

Dependency.

Or the phrase I picked up years ago[3], “Learning to be held and not just hold on.”

I believe that we were created by a loving God to be loved by Him and to love Him back. We were created for a role of dependency on Him, our creator. We were created to trust Him, like a child trusting His parents. 

I remember the comfortable feeling of sitting in the front seat of my parent’s car and leaning my head over onto my mother’s shoulder. It was warm and soft, and I was safe. I knew that I was in a good place and where I was supposed to be. 

In the same manner, I believe in a God who wants me to live a life in which I trust in His presence and His love for me. 

Remember my blog about, “Never Forget the Value of Play?”[4]In that I talked about what a driven and somewhat neurotic young man I was in my dating relationship with Sarah. I approached her with the intensity of a young pre-med and nearly destroyed our relationship. In her graciousness to me, she guided me and taught me how to have a true love relationship. I had to learn to just be with her, or to just be. 

So also, with religion. I think we all become somewhat neurotic. We begin this desperate effort to “earn” or “achieve” God, when what He really wants of us is a restored relationship. He wants us to depend on Him for our salvation and for our spiritual journey with Him. He wants us to learn, “To be held and not just hold on.” 

He Himself has paid the price for our sins. He has set a path for restoration to the place that we are supposed to be in relationship with Him. He just asks us to call on Him and rely on Him and trust in Him to do so.

And so, I did learn a lot as a chaplain’s volunteer. I learned about the human condition. I learned about our place before God. And I learned about the power of prayer.

I was scared to go to the young man’s room again. You remember – the one with the pornographic magazines on his bed. But I felt duty bound. 

“Do you want to talk?” 

“NOPE!” 

“Would you like me to pray for you.”

The tears started running down his face. His shoulders dropped. He nodded yes. And I prayed. 

[1]We could have a long discussion about this line and a wholistic approach to medicine. That is beyond the scope of this blog. I am open to learning from you. If you have ideas that differ from mine, would you please message me? I am quite open to learning from you.

[2]CMDA = Christian Medical and Dental Association, https://cmda.org

[3]This was a phrase from the 2100 Studies multimedia production, “Habakkuk”. This was a production put on by InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I cannot find a reference to it anymore, but when this presentation was put on that phrase was the number one item on the comment cards that people said impacted them.

[4]https://manmedicineandmike.com/never-forget-the-value-of-play/