It was a hot day. We were standing on the sidewalk outside of an ice cream shop when I saw her. Her clothes were a little bit askew and unkempt. In her hand she had an ice cream cone.
In the heat the ice cream was melting and running over the side of the cone, down her hand and streaming down her arm. She would only slowly take licks. She wasn’t distressed by the rapidly melting cone. She wasn’t trying to madly clean up the leaks of ice cream running down. She was enjoying her ice cream cone. She was intent on doing so. She would not let anything get in the way of her enjoyment of the cone. She was not going to bite or rush through the ice cream. She was going to slowly lick and enjoy it, even if it meant that much of the ice cream melted and made a mess on her and the ground around her.
I didn’t mean to be staring. But I was transfixed by the image. My eyes were pulled to it as I tried to understand.
I must have been really staring for the woman walked over to me with a big smile. “It is so good! Do you want a lick?” she asked me.
“No. No, thank you, but it does look really good. Thanks for asking! Enjoy it!” I responded. I forced myself to look away.
That was probably 20 years ago. I still have the vision in my mind. In the moment that I saw her, I had my gaze pulled to her and I struggled to understand. Even now in my mind I am trying to understand.
Understand what?
When I get an ice cream cone I am always sure to take a couple of napkins. I strategically watch for any areas that are melting and am careful to lick them. I don’t want the sides of the cone, let alone my hands or arms to get dripped on by the melting ice cream. If it is really hot I may have to speed things up and start taking bites of the ice cream.
I must keep things in control. They must be neat and tidy. Eating an ice cream cone is serious business. You would hate to make a mess on your hands or arms and especially not on your clothes. You have to be proactive. You have to anticipate what is going to melt and lick or eat before it becomes a problem. If it is a high-risk day (hot outside), it might be better to get the ice cream in a bowl or at least have a bowl with you to catch the melting ice cream if things get out of control.
She thinks and experiences life differently than me.
I think that is the first lesson and one that pulled me to looking at her that day. I couldn’t imagine being calm and slowly licking the ice cream cone while the ice cream ran a steady stream down my arm. It was beyond my comprehension. In that it made me realize that not all of us think the same. I know that is obvious, but I don’t think we operate that way in our understanding of the world and how we relate to each other. Generally, I assume that people think just like I do. Whatever actions they take or words they say I judge within the bounds of what I would do or say. If they deviate from that, they must be wrong.
But we are all so different. We grow up in different families with different standards and customs and norms. We have different things that have molded and shaped us throughout our lives. Each of those prior events influences our reactions to what happens around us and how we behave. What she was doing that day was natural for her. In that I was alerted to the fact that I need to let my mind be stretched. I need to seek out new or different knowledge if I truly hope to understand my world and people who are around me.
I read once a list of books that every Christian should read. I cannot find it now. It was not the usual list of devotional or books on faith or theology. There are indeed wonderful such books that I have read and cherish. Many of us could pull together such a list of books. But this was a list of novels that would take me into worlds that I do not understand. I have heard that it is in stories that we truly learn and change. I try to seek out such stories. By living the experiences of people so different from me in the stories, I hope it helps me to better understand the people around me. Our world seems so divided. Perhaps we should try to read stories that don’t make sense to us. In that maybe we would find wisdom. Maybe it would help me understand how it would be possible to eat an ice cream cone very slowly, even if the ice cream was melting and running in streams down my arm.
She really was enjoying her ice cone.
I think that is the other big thing I took away from the image. I remember trying to come up with a word for what I saw. Passion? Or better, perhaps, “sensuality.” Sensuality = “the enjoyment, expression or pursuit of physical pleasure.” Often this is used in a negative sense and in regard to people who destroy their lives in pursuit of sexual or other pleasures. People can sometimes sacrifice what good is in their lives to satisfy their immediate desires.
But, yet, there is a positive side to sensuality. The woman with the ice cream was not a sexual image. It was just pure enjoyment for the sake of enjoyment. That is what I was trying to understand when I found myself staring at her on that hot summer evening.
God has created all things. He created us to experience good in this world. He is the one who created the sensual pleasures of this world. In that moment, with that creature of His, was one who could purely enjoy the pleasures of a cold ice cream cone on a hot and sticky day. In each lick, she was enjoying the wonders of the world which God has given us.
Imagine that you give me a present. I tear off the wrapping paper and only say a halfhearted, “Thanks,” before I set it aside. You would be deflated.
But imagine if even on the first glimpse of the present, as I pulled the paper back, you saw excitement and delight in my eyes. Imagine how you would feel if you saw me holding on to the present and savoring it. Imagine if hours later you saw me still sitting and holding the present you gave me. It would be a wonderful thing.
God’s creature was showing Him a wonderful enjoyment of one of the simple pleasures He has created for us. That is what I was seeing. That is what my eyes were drawn to on that day. I was getting a glimpse into a wonderful gift giving scenario.
Which brings me to the question that was in my mind that evening and ever since. Do I know how to really appreciate the gifts that I have been given? Am I capable of so enjoying them that I will not be concerned about the conventions and other things that might limit my behavior? Will I love my wife and my daughters so much that I don’t care if it makes me look silly? Will I appreciate the wonder of a sunset with such intensity that people might laugh at me? Will I let myself appreciate and savor the joys of my work so that people might want to laugh at me?
Could I eat an ice cream cone slowly, enjoying each and every lick?
It was beyond my understanding that day to do so. But in that moment, a slightly unkempt and unconventional woman was able to teach me a lesson.
Maybe I should go and hug my wife and hold on a really really long time. Or perhaps go sit with one of my daughters and really listen and hear what is going on in their lives. Or now as I go to work look at each patient as a gift or an opportunity to use my skills for good. Should I welcome each decision, even hard decisions, as something that might help someone else?
My next sip of coffee will be my most enjoyable. My next bite of breakfast will be so good. My next look out the window will appreciate the beauty as much as I ever have.
God has given me so many good things. Today can I really and truly let myself enjoy them?
